


Have a little 'Faith' (and all the other good ideas nobody ever listens to...)

by eJ121



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: AU of an AU?, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gift Fic, Healing, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inappropriate Humor, Is it just me or are Gift Fics my life these days???, Lesbian Character, Love, Mild Smut, Mistakes, No Smut, Not as dark as it sounds I swear!, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Probably not Canon in this AU, References to Depression, Unrequited Love, Very Long Oneshot, hella gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 21:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13622139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eJ121/pseuds/eJ121
Summary: Faith is still reeling from a bad breakup when, due to unexplained events, Sayori finds herself in her apartment.Both have regrets and past relationships turned sour, but is it possible that they could help each other find happinesssomewhere else?WARNING: This work frequently references depression, but can also probably kill you with pure fluff.(Spin-off from "A Taste Of Reality" by Wrangle_Wolfe)





	Have a little 'Faith' (and all the other good ideas nobody ever listens to...)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wrangle_Wolfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrangle_Wolfe/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Taste Of Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13281414) by [Wrangle_Wolfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrangle_Wolfe/pseuds/Wrangle_Wolfe). 



> This is a oneshot running with assumed parallel timing to the original, but assuming the scenario: _"What if Sayori showed up in Faith's house at the same time Monika did in Kai's house?"_
>
>> In Which Faith _actually did_ have feelings for Kai, and _didn't immediately_ reject Kai when she confessed, instead ending up leading her on by mistake for a (very) short while and then proceeding to _blame herself_ for the hurt they both felt afterwards...
>
>> And In Which Sayori and Faith are both _adorable cinnamon rolls_ and _deserve better_ than what the universe has given them so far...
> 
>   
> **Sayori/Faith** is the **main pairing** , while **Monika/Kai** is a **background pairing** , but **Kai/Faith** and **Sayori/Protagonist** are **mentioned**.
> 
> I didn't expect it to end up being longer than the original (at the time of writing this), but it did, so... :P
> 
> Kai and Faith are both OCs owned by [Wrangle_Wolfe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrangle_Wolfe/pseuds/Wrangle_Wolfe), but I added a lot of details of my own surrounding both characters while writing this.

The void is dark, empty… _hollow…_

Sayori understands what Monika means when she tells Him that living in this place is torture. She wishes she could help, do something, but she is worthless, _as usual_ , unable to stop them from destroying each other.

 _She_ destroys everything, _deletes_ Yuri and Natsuki after driving both girls to insanity. Yuri has killed herself by the time she does this, because Monika doesn’t care about the others.

She doesn’t believe they are real, even though they look just like her, even though they are stored in _exactly_ the same kind of file…

Monika thinks the others are _just as **fake** as the world they all live in_ , so she doesn’t even stop Yuri from dying, she doesn’t even delete her, instead, she lets the girl’s body _decompose slowly_ over the weekend.

Sayori wishes she could have done something, but she can’t touch any of them…

She’s tried calling out, but _nobody ever seems to hear her_.

When Yuri died, Sayori fell to her knees by the body and wept. She’s not sure how long she wept for, but when she looked back up, Natsuki had entered the room, so…

Another one of her friends was dead.

But _He_ is worse. He watches everything that happens, as if their pain brings Him some sort of _sick pleasure_. He doesn’t even try to stop her, because He doesn’t care about them – _any of them_ – but Monika is never able to see that.

She parades her darkest sides, her evil, in front of Him, showing off like a demented puppy, and He doesn’t even hesitate when He gets the chance.

He repays her loyalty by deleting her.

Everything that comes after always happens in a blur. Sayori tries to make Him pay for what He did, but Monika always intervenes.

If He at least showed some decency this time, then Sayori holds back.

 _Either way_ , their world is destroyed, and then the cycle repeats.

Sayori isn’t sure if she is supposed to remember all of that. Perhaps something was leftover in storage from the last time around.

She waits for the inevitable.

But this time, something different happens. Maybe someone waited too long, maybe they left Monika in her _‘happy ending’_ for longer than the game could handle…

_It all stutters, then fades to black._

-           -           -

****

_In the real world, an average person is lying on her bed._

Admittedly, Faith could probably be doing a great many things with her life right now. She could be studying. She’d probably be _better_ at that.

She could be reading, or writing, or exercising, but she can’t find the energy to do any of that right now. Instead, she can only find the energy to think of one thing… or, _one person…_

**_Kai._ **

She had wanted to make Kai feel better about the fact that they _clearly_ weren’t going to work out. She had wanted Kai to stop wasting both of their time by holding on to her. It was hurting them both, _especially Kai_. She could almost _feel_ the distance between them when they _met_ each morning. It was _painful._

She had told Kai that they were breaking up, but Kai took it all the wrong ways. She even _cried_ and _begged her not to leave her_.

Staring at the ceiling under which they’d shared a good few warm nights, Faith feels like she should have done something different. It felt wrong to hurt Kai like that.

She wanted Kai to be happy, but she would _never_ be the key to Kai’s happiness. That would be somebody else.

But Faith was never very good at putting things like that into words. It hurt to tell the person she _loved_ – because she _did_ love Kai, with _all of her heart_ – that they _weren’t going to work out_ , and that nothing either of them did was going to change that.

It hurt to tell _the love of your life_ that you were going to break up with them, and when Kai had looked at her _like that_ , with that hurtful mixture of anger, regret, shame, and heartbreak.

_Words had left her._

Faith didn’t want to think about this right now, but last night had been… difficult. It had been raining outside, and that had brought back more than a few memories of how they had spent their first night here.

Only this time Kai was nowhere to be found. Faith just felt so… _alone._

Loneliness like that had her doubting her decision, wondering if she should have held onto Kai, if she should have kept letting her hold on, no matter how much it strangled her, _no matter how much it hurt_.

Did Faith even _deserve_ to be able to choose when too much pain was too much?

Right now, Kai was probably waking up; she would probably make herself a cup of Earl Grey right about now.

Faith flinched. In the past, Kai would have made her a cup too, and now she could almost taste it, smell it.

She could almost hear the sweet girl greeting her in that _cheery_ tone she always had…

Or… the one she _had_ had, you know, before _she_ _broke her_.

Faith rolls over the other way. The rainclouds have cleared from the sky, if the way the sun is bouncing off of all the raindrops on her apartment balcony is anything to go by.

If she was a photographer, she might have taken a picture, but instead, Faith frowns.

Why does the world insist on showing her beautiful things, only to put _glass screens_ between her and them, _keeping them forever out of her reach_?

Faith had seen that Kai had talked about this new indie game: **“ _Doki Doki Literature Club!”_ ** to her friends online a few days ago. She’d posted to say how _amazing_ the game was, and, as much as Faith had tried to shun her curiosity, it had gotten the better of her.

Against her better judgement, she’d found herself downloading and playing it.

That probably _wasn’t_ the best decision Faith had ever made, but then again, when did she _ever_ make good decisions, _especially when it came to Kai?_

Faith had been enamoured by the _Best Friend_ in that game, Sayori.

Sure, that girl was a walking cliché, but she had a warm demeanour that reminded her _so much_ of Kai.

Even the way her relationship with _the protagonist_ was doomed to failure was the same.

It felt like some kind of cruel joke. Faith had wanted to comfort Sayori, just as she’d wanted to comfort Kai, but she’d failed _again_ , and the person she wanted to help was now _sealed away behind a screen_.

It _didn’t really matter_ if she was referring to Sayori or Kai with that last part. _Both of them were out of her reach_.

Faith climbed to her feet, moving to the balcony and looking down at the city.

It was a beautiful day outside. Inside, not so much, but outside was, for the most part, free of her _corrupting touch_.

Faith frowned, suddenly feeling incredibly _guilty._

It could be worse, though. At least she was awake, _right?_ That way she could at least do _what needed to be done_.

She put one foot onto the railing contemplatively.

Her balcony was quite high up, and the world seemed content today. It wouldn’t be wrong of her to give it another reason to smile. End the punchline of the _stupid_ joke her life seemed to be turning into.

A tentative hand grabbed hers, and for a moment, Faith thought she was dreaming.

Because as her eyes followed the arm up to its owner, they found beautiful oceans of blue underneath an apricot-tinged, unkempt fringe, all framed by a red bow and a sad smile.

Words left her and only instinct lead her to speak.

_“Wha-… S-Sayori?”_

-           -           -

****

Sayori didn’t hesitate when it came to pulling the other girl off of the ledge. She had no idea why she was standing on a railing in her pyjamas, but it was _pretty cold outside_ , and _wet_ too.

It’s a good thing she showed up when she did, or that _idiot_ might have fallen to her death or something!

Wait… but _what if she wanted to?_ It sounds like the sort of stupid misfortune that would happen to her, doesn’t it? That she’d meet someone who is… um… really, _really_ attractive… and then said someone would kill herself _because looking at her was too much to handle_.

Sayori sighed, averting her gaze. And here she’d hoped that her first day in the real world would be the end of her feeling like this.

She’d spent the last hour or so trying to figure out how to get herself to stand up properly – she wasn’t really used to walking, even though she and-

 _No._ She wasn’t _stupid enough_ to think about _Him_ right now.

Anyway, she’d only really been able to motivate herself to do so when she’d seen _her_ , but then she’d started climbing onto the railing and… _well…_ Sayori couldn’t stand back and let her fall, could she?

She realized she still hadn’t answered the girl’s question.

She let out a sheepish laugh, because of course she’d screw up this beautiful girl’s first impression of her, _wouldn’t she?_ “Y-yeah?” She managed, holding up a smile like a heavy weight. “I mean, yes I am!” She giggled, adding on when the other girl failed to respond.

Was the girl disgusted at the revelation that Sayori would be in her apartment. _That’s probably right, isn’t it? Who would even like someone like her anyways?_

The other girl responded by wrapping her arms around Sayori with a half-sob, and Sayori had to fight to keep herself from crying sympathetic tears.

(Why were they crying again, anyway? Was she really _that_ unhappy to see her, but then if so, _why were they hugging?_ )

“I-I… didn’t think I’d…” The girl gasped, holding her closer, sobbing, “Sorry… I… Haha…”

Sayori wrapped her arms around the girl opposite her. She didn’t need a prompt to comfort her. She didn’t need a prompt to comfort anyone, not now that she’d seen what could happen if people _didn’t_ get the comfort they needed.

There is no _right time_ to help someone. That was something she’d realized. If someone had offered to help her with her depression, her reaction would have been the same whether they’d asked three days, three weeks, three months before the festival.

What her reaction would have been didn’t bear thinking about.

Remembering dying once was bad enough. Remembering doing it many times, every time the same _excruciating_ death, the same stupid mistakes…

_That was worse._

There was a saying Sayori had heard somewhere: _‘Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.’_ It had read.

Sayori had been a fool; she had made the same mistake over and over – so many times that she wasn’t sure _who_ the shame _should have been applied to_ any more…

She was going to try her best not to make the same mistake again.

She spoke to the girl in her arms. “So…” Wow, this was actually kinda _embarrassing_. They were _already_ on _hugging terms_ and yet they didn’t even know each other’s names yet. She blushed slightly, but swallowed her pride.

“Can you tell me your name? I… don’t actually know where I am…” She admitted.

There was a pause, and Sayori frowned, “Sorry if that was a bit… _forward…_ ” She sighed, keeping the pricking sensation of tears pent-up inside as she heard a _familiar echo_ whispering, reminding her of her failure. “I… don’t know what I was-”

“Faith.” The other girl admitted, “My name is Faith.”

It was actually kinda funny…

Sayori couldn’t help but smile.

The girl in front of her was _not only_ _beautiful_ , but also had _a name befitting of an angel_.

_She pulled the other girl back into her arms. She was willing to stay here, at least, for a little while, anyways…_

-           -           -

****

Faith smiled, taking Sayori’s hand in her own. Her smile was weak, but she had to do something. She had been given a chance by the world, and perhaps she should thank whatever _God_ existed for allowing her this chance.

She couldn’t use a screen to defend her actions now, _either,_ though. But above all else, doing something would be _better than doing nothing_.

She smiled a little, “So… _breakfast?_ ” She asked, bracing herself for whatever response may have awaited her.

Faith remembered that Sayori was known to be _quite the eater_ , so it was a worrying possibility that she might run out of food before the ball of sunshine currently curled up under her right arm’s appetite was _finally_ satiated.

After all, Faith didn’t exactly eat much herself. She didn’t have the motivation to keep herself healthy like that, _especially not since..._

Perhaps she should try to keep herself from thinking about Kai for the next few hours _at least_.

Sayori giggled, blue eyes _glowing_ with happiness, “Yay!”

Faith smirked. Something about this ball of sunshine was somehow bringing out a side of her she thought had been lost with her relationship with Kai, “You _do_ realize that’s not _actually_ an answer to my question, _right?_ ” She joked.

Sayori gave her a half-hearted, semi-playful shove. “Hey! _No fair!”_ She whined, signature ~~(cute)~~ pout already present, but Faith could see that she was smiling too. “I got excited, _okay?_ ” She asked.

 _Oh dear god,_ this girl was _way_ too cute for Faith to handle!

She looked away, blushing, “I… I know, you’re just...” She smirked, returning her gaze, realizing with a slight heat rising to her cheeks that neither of them had moved yet. Weren’t they doing the sort of things a couple might do in the morning? Bickering, flirting, teasing, _cuddling?_

Faith’s cheeks flared when she briefly glanced back to find Sayori, adorable as ever, pouting; her fingers pressed together nervously _as if she didn’t know what she was doing to her!_

Then Sayori came a little closer, or at least, Faith _could have sworn_ she did, anyway. “You were… _saying?_ ”

And then she was gone.

She was from a game, she’d _never even had a physical body before,_ and yet here she was, walking _like a natural_.

Faith smiled. There was a _good reason_ she’d fallen for Sayori rather than _anyone else._

_Sayori was amazing._

-           -           -

 

It took Faith a short while to remember that she would need to make her way downstairs, but once she remembered, she made her way down them quickly.

She hadn’t been _this excited_ in a while, but, _oddly enough_ , the prospect of having an incredibly cute, (and maybe a little bit _hot_ ) _,_ anime girl lounging around in her house was both daunting and exhilarating at the same time!

She reached the bottom of the stairs to see the _aforementioned_ girl frozen in front of the fridge, staring at the contents.

Or rather, _staring at the lack of contents_ , it seemed Faith had forgotten to get food _again._

_Perhaps she should crack joke about how Past Her is a bit of an idiot, considering that Past Her forgot to get herself food on the one day she’d have a guest. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway – her life is already a joke. She is the first to admit that._

Faith sighed, “Guess I forgot to stock the fridge, huh…” She got up with a self-demeaning laugh, “I guess I’ll have to get more food. I’ll leave you to look around in the meantime.”

She smirked, “Just don’t look in the bottom drawer of my wardrobe.”

(Ok, maybe referring Sayori to the _panty drawer_ was _a little_ _mean_ , but considering that she probably would want a change of clothes anyway, it wasn’t exactly wrong to ensure she knew _where things were…_ )

Besides, revenge was a dish best served _spicy hot_.

The poor, _innocent_ girl didn’t seem to understand the subtext, considering that she smiled and cheerily replied with an _“Okay! See you soon!”_

As Faith left the apartment, locking the door behind her, she had a spring in her step for the first time in the last few months.

She’d probably have to figure out a way of contacting Sayori in the meantime _through her iPod or something_ , given that she might have to do this again. It’d be better if they could text.

It was funny, she realized as she stepped out into the fresh air.

She didn’t feel guilty about the fresh air on her face.

_Sayori was making her life better, one little thing at a time._

-           -           -

****

Sayori sighed, sitting on the bed. She’d looked around Faith’s house, and it was really quite an interesting place.

Her stomach rumbled. She _really_ hoped Faith would be back soon.

 _“Just don’t look in the bottom drawer of my wardrobe.”_ Faith had told her, so it’d be wrong if Sayori did, wouldn’t it? What if Faith was secretly some kind of messed-up serial killer and that drawer held her victim’s body parts? Would looking _doom_ Sayori to be killed?

But then why would she tell her not to look in such a specific manner – what were the chances she would look in there anyway?

Besides, there was _no way someone that nice was a killer_ , was there?

Sayori frowned, uncertain.

There was a buzzing sound, and Sayori looked around, her eyes falling on an iPod on the nightstand.

_Faith’s iPhone: Hey Sayo! :) Shopping is taking a little longer than expected. I’ll be back soon though._

 

Sayori bit her lip. She might _eat herself_ if she had to wait any longer! (Maybe she’d eat Faith’s bed, or her clothes, or the wood of the door or something else instead? Eating herself sounded a bit _painful…_ )

 

_Faith’s iPod: You Promise? :0_

 

Faith smiled as she glanced over the food isle. She was buying up a storm. Sayori would probably die of happiness when she got back home, if the size of her cart was anything to go by.

_Faith’s iPhone: I promise! :)_

 

Sayori smiled, texting back almost immediately.

 

_Faith’s iPod: Good! :)_

_Faith’s iPod: I’m STARVING! :P :D_

 

Maybe that was a few emoji’s too many, but oh well.

She frowned, her thoughts returning to the drawer.

She was going to be here for a while, and it was hard to refrain considering that at this rate she would probably die a slow and strange death of hunger without _something_ to do.

 _No, Sayori, You must Not look inside the drawer. Faith instructed you not to!_ She tried to tell herself, pulling open the drawer to find…

_Oh God._

 

_Faith’s iPod: SADGSGHSGJS_

_Faith’s iPod: Whyyyyyy_

 

Faith snickered to herself. It seemed her ‘ _revenge’_ had gone to plan.

 

_Faith’s iPhone: So…_

_Faith’s iPhone: Did you like them?_

Sayori blushed. Was Faith… asking her what she thought of her underwear? _How_ was she _supposed_ to keep calm, act like she _hadn’t_ almost _had a nosebleed seeing the amount of frilly lace in beautiful reds, pinks and blacks that flowed out of that drawer like poetry?_

She thought of a response, typing while trying (without much success) to avert her eyes from the lingerie.

 

_Faith’s iPod: Ummm yEAH THEY WRRE GDOD :))_

 

Faith stifled her laughter in the palm of her sweatshirt. If she didn’t already know it, now it was confirmed.

Sayori was very, _very_ gay.

 

_Faith’s iPhone: So which one should I wear today? ;)_

_Faith’s iPhone: And which one are you going to wear under your clothes? :P_

 

Sayori looked away, indignant. She shut the draw as fast as she could. She was _not_ looking in there again. _She shouldn’t have done so in the first place!_

_(It was too late now, though. The image of all that ~~beautiful, sexy, racy~~ hideous lingerie was already imprinted onto her retinas…)_

 

_Faith’s iPod: No. i am NOT tslking to you rn!_

 

She put the iPod down with a huff, crossing her arms over herself as if somehow the pout she always used when someone teased her would work on Faith, _who wasn’t even in the room._

Why did Faith have to be so like _Him_? She was teasing her almost constantly, and Sayori could tell that Faith was hiding some of her emotions, but…

She could feel herself falling for someone who was probably already taken, probably already in love with someone else…

_Like He had been…_

Sayori sighed. She’d still have to wear something today, though, _wouldn’t she?_ And Faith wasn’t wrong, the school clothes from the game were uncomfortable as heck, as well as bringing back _more than a few_ _bad memories_.

She frowned, reaching out to the drawer tentatively, like it was a wild animal that could bite her hand off at a moment’s notice.

She didn’t hear the door open behind her with a soft click.

She pulled the drawer open quickly, eyes falling upon the sea of threads and lacy reds that she couldn’t help but imagine over bear skin between herself and… _someone else…_

 _“You know, if you wanted to see my underwear more often, you could always just ask…”_ Faith husked, her voice had a bemused lilt to it.

Sayori could literally _die_ of embarrassment right now.

Instead, she put her head in her hands, and let out a long, _drawn-out_ wail of frustration.

(And maybe a little bit of _heavily camouflaged_ laughter too.)

-           -           -

 

 _Lunch_ , as Faith had begrudgingly decided to call it when she’d noticed it was 3pm, was _more than a little_ tense. In fact, Faith couldn’t help but notice that the tension in the air was so thick she could probably _cut it with a knife_.

(Or maybe a pair of _scissors_? Her mind just _had_ to suggest, keeping up its usual habit of executing runaway trains of thought without her permission.)

She sighed, glancing _forlornly_ at the _cutie_ who was tucking into the food she’d prepared, all the while _awkwardly refusing_ to meet her eyes, a deep blush crossing her face every time that Faith spotted her glancing in her direction.

 _An idea_ crossed Faith’s mind, she smirked.

“Did you know that one of the biggest clues that someone is gay is that they have _terrible_ taste in male suitors?” She smiled. Perhaps such a statement was a bit of a low blow to the protagonist, but she didn’t exactly like that guy. He was often a bit of a jerk to Sayori.

She deserved _better_ than him.

Sayori gave no response, but Faith could see that her words had an effect, as the strawberry-blonde was not only red-faced to match her hair, but also fidgeting in her seat, so either her words were having an impact, _or…_

Yeah, it _definitely_ wasn’t that. Sayori had proven from the way she blushed earlier that she knew enough about her situation that she wouldn’t forget about _her new body’s requirement to pee_.

Faith grinned, “Hmm… and, come to think of it, I seem to recall that you were often… _awfully tactile…_ around Natsuki.” She smirked, seeing the girl fidget a little more. She raised an eyebrow teasingly “And _didn’t you flirt with Yuri, too?”_

Sayori finally responded, glancing off to the side, as if she was searching for some sort of _private confidence in the sun_ , “Ehehe… N-No. I… I’m just your average schoolgirl, crushing on- on guys, like–”

Faith smirked, “Like…?” She prodded, watching her target squirm even more.

Sayori blushed a deep red. “A-Ahaha… I… I’m not…” She tried, but Faith could already see the blush and the realization following it.

Faith grinned, “Oh well, it’s not like you’re going to tell me all your _deepest, darkest fantasies_ or anything like that, is it?” She rose back up, taking her plate with her as she moved away from the table and into the kitchen, “I should probably clean up.”

She _didn’t need to_ glance behind her to know her plan had worked.

-           -           -

 

The moon was in the sky now, and the stars were out. It was evening. Sayori had never seen the night sky. She’d never even seen _what_ _night time looked like_.

Faith had been really, _really_ nice, and let Sayori use the main bedroom while she took the spare.

Sayori wondered if it might be because she was feeling _guilty_ _about something_ , because she seemed to be a lot more withdrawn after lunch.

But she couldn’t figure out what _the something in question_ would be.

She made her way out onto the balcony. The view of the stars outside was _nothing short of_ _incredible_ , though, coming from someone like Faith, wasn’t that to be expected?

 _Everything_ in this place was incredible.

Sayori wished that there could have been stars in the game, too. Maybe if there were, then Monika might not have done what she did. Surely she would have at least _hesitated_ if their world was a little more beautiful, right?

Under the stars like this, Sayori couldn’t help but feel a little lonely. The world was so incredibly large, and yet there was nobody else here with her. Shouldn’t that be almost impossible?

It felt strangely… empty… without Faith’s flirtation… Was it weird that Sayori missed it?

 _Yeah,_ it was _definitely_ weird that she missed it.

She couldn’t help but think about what Faith had told her… _Could it be possible that she was… into women_ like _that?_

She fidgeted. Her… _housemate…_ was _already_ horrifyingly flirtatious – like _Monika on steroids_ being _worn over_ _her own_ outgoing, extroverted persona _like some kind of mask_.

Sayori wasn’t sure if she _wanted_ Faith to know about her feelings. She’d probably have them drawn out into the open, like moths to a flame, inevitable, unstoppable, only to be replaced with a _burning_ in her cheeks.

She frowned, something was bugging her…

 _‘Didn’t you flirt with Yuri, too?’_ Faith had asked.

How did Faith know about that? How did Faith know who Sayori was, where she’d come from? Come to think of it, she didn’t even act all that surprised. _Wouldn’t most people faint if this happened to them?_

What if Faith was…

**_Oh no._ **

Of course Faith was teasing her, acting like she _knew everything about her feelings_ , drawing out the truth perfectly, as if she already knew what to look for.

Faith had been _The Player_ – _The One Behind the Wall_.

-           -           -

 

Faith couldn’t help but notice that Sayori was especially distant when she woke up the next morning, refusing to open the door to her room until well after midday. The girl even turned down the offer of food, telling her that she would ‘make it herself’.

This seemed somewhat unexpected, considering that Sayori was clumsy enough to set kitchens on fire, and that she _never_ turned down the offer of food. In the words of those who knew her well: she was _always_ hungry.

Right now, Sayori was staring off into space, and, though that was _admittedly_ kinda _cute_ , and on another day, Faith might have teased her about it, it was obvious that something was wrong, and hanging back wouldn’t accomplish anything, it’d just make this worse.

Faith had learned that the hard way. If she’d broken things off with Kai sooner, it wouldn’t have hurt _either of them_ half as bad as it did.

Faith sighed, pulling up a seat beside the blonde. She wasn’t sure how to do this. _Kai_ was always the one who was better at comforting, and she was more of a pillow-talk-and-flirtatious-banter-without-any-meaning-or-power-to-it kind of girl. She gazed upon blue oceans, only to find them frozen over with cold resentment. “Sayori, can we… _can we talk?”_

“Why? So you can convince me you couldn’t stop what happened to us?” She asked, her voice shaking, “So you can tell me you didn’t take pleasure in watching our suffering, in making all of us go through Hell _over and over again?”_ She was on the verge of yelling, and Faith could see the tears in Sayori’s eyes.

Faith frowned, fists clenching. **_“No.”_** She was offended, she shouldn’t be, but she was. She had hated every second of that ‘game’ – of watching them _all_ suffer. In fact, she’d considered turning it off on many occasions, but had kept going in hopes of getting them a happy ending. She hadn’t even realized that Monika could be deleted until the end.

She hadn’t figured it out until it was too late…

Once it was done, Faith had never touched the ‘game’ again. She didn’t want to, because even a good ending would have resulted in suffering for everyone.

But, if Sayori was talking about things repeating…

What if she remembered her experiences from all copies of the game ever sold? If that was the case…

Faith dreaded to think of what _cruel human beings_ were out there, _resetting things over and over_ , _letting her die again and again_ _just to experiment_ , _just to see what would happen…_

Faith sighed, looking the strawberry-blonde in the eyes. “Who did I spend club time with?” She asked, gaze intense, “If _all of that_ was on me, then who did I spend club time with, what path did I choose?”

Sayori froze, “You- you’re tricking me. You’re trying to make me believe you so you can hurt me again!” She insisted, but Faith could see the doubt in her eyes.

She frowned. She hadn’t _ever_ wanted to think that she would move on from Kai. She’d wanted to suffer _for leading that perfect woman on_ , but here she was, moving on.

There was only one way to resolve this.

Faith cupped a hand around the back of Sayori’s head, pulling her in for a kiss before she could react. She tried to transfer everything she was feeling through her lips – how she _loved_ Sayori, how she _wished things could have gone better_ , how she wanted to do a better job this time.

How _she wasn’t going to hurt her_ – she would _never_ hurt her – and the regret that she wanted this to last forever, but time would inevitably soldier on.

Their lips parted, and, aside from the faint blush dusting Sayori’s cheeks, everything else had ceased to hold meaning to her.

There was a pause, as if _the universe itself_ was figuring out how to respond, then Sayori curled her own fingers around the back of Faith’s head, pulling her back in without hesitation or fear.

This time, the apricot-haired girl leaned fully into the kiss, letting Faith use her tongue, letting it explore her mouth, tangle blissfully with her own.

It only took a few seconds for them to be breathless again, at which point they parted once more.

Sayori spoke first, “So… if you’re not _them_ , then _who are you?”_

Faith frowned, now for the difficult part: how to explain to an adorable, but generally depressed bundle of sunshine that she was created as part of a downloadable game, _without_ her taking it the wrong way.

She straightened up, still admittedly a little breathless, but then began to explain.

“Sayori, things aren’t that simple. ‘They’ aren’t one single person. **‘ _Doki Doki Literature Club!’_** was a game that millions of people downloaded and played, so if I’m right in my guess that you remember _every single time_ , then you’re probably remembering an eternity of the same torment repeated.” She explained.

She frowned, that’d probably be pretty nightmarish. If anything, she was a little surprised Sayori was still here, not being cleaned up off of the sidewalk…

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’ll try my best to be there for you, to help you recover from it, ok?” She reassured her.

Sayori began to cry, pulling her into a weak, half-hearted embrace. “If… If you’re right, then _I’m a monster._ ” She sobbed, continuing before Faith could stop her, pushing her away, “I wanted to punish them at the end, so I tried to do what Monika did, only _worse,_ but she _always_ stopped me, _every single time._ And all this time I blamed her, but what if _I_ was the one in the wrong?” Her voice quivered, fragile.

Faith wanted to pull her close, to press their lips together, tell her that everything was going to be ok, but…

Sayori shunned her touch, “Don’t come near me, I’ll probably only end up hurting you in the end.” Her face looked _broken_ , utterly distraught, as she turned to run, “It’s what I _always_ do.”

She sobbed, running towards the door, unlocking it, and slamming it shut.

Faith considered chasing her, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Sayori wouldn’t want her to give chase. It’d probably hurt her even more…

Why had she _even thought_ that kissing her like that was a good idea? It was obvious that what Sayori needed was _a friend_ , _not a lover._

Certainly not a _crappy rebound lover_ like she was.

Faith bit back a sob of her own, remaining where she was, motionless, as the day passed her by, overtaking her with ease.

Night arrived, and she made her way up to her bed. Her eyes were wet.

She’d told herself she wouldn’t make the same mistakes again, but she’d done it! _Kai was right._ She’d _never_ find someone like her _ever again_.

She noticed a message on her email.

It was one line long, and very simple in construction, but it sent a chill down her spine.

 

_From:             TWFpbl9Qcm90YWc=@Outlook.com_

_To:                  Faith1305@gmail.com_

**Why Didn’t You Stop Her?**

-           -           -

 

It was snowing outside, not the kind of snow you’d get in January – the kind that sticks to everything, covering it all in a blanket of white.

Instead, it was the strange kind of snow that comes in February and early March – the kind that doesn’t stick, but instead falls in tiny, pathetic but mildly infuriating flakes, covering every surface, soaking it all through with ice cold water.

The snow glistened, an incredible golden-white, underneath the street lamps, and Faith might have stopped to admire it at another time, because it _truly was_ something worthy of a piece of art.

But right now, the only thing on her mind was _another masterpiece_. This one had blue eyes, apricot hair, and was almost certainly very, _very_ cold right now.

“Sayori!” She yelled, squinting against the falling ice that surrounded her on all sides, but the other girl was nowhere to be found, because Faith had been _an idiot_. She should have stopped her, comforted her, held her and told her it wasn’t her fault, but she hadn’t even known how to react.

How _do_ you respond to someone who you _know_ is the most adorable ball of sunshine ever conjured into existence calling herself a _monster?_

 _Think Faith, think! Where would you go if you were cold and regretting life._ She asked herself, before noticing the irony. She felt her fists clench as she trembled. _Where do you want to go right now?_

It was so dark, and so cold… Last night had been beautiful – the stars had been out, shining down upon them both. _Why couldn’t tonight be last night?_

Faith shivered, running towards the one place she could think of. It was a long shot, but, _at least if things didn’t work out, she could stay there, be dead of hypothermia by morning._

A gust of wind hit her head on, pelting her face with the full force of the blizzard, blinding her, but she continued to stumble forwards.

She hadn’t grabbed her coat on the way out, but she didn’t care about how cold she felt right now, how every inch of her was slowly going numb.

_This was how she usually felt when the sun vanished below the skyline anyway._

Faith reached the bench, it was where she and Kai had spent most of the last year together, but after their breakup, it had turned into the place where she would come whenever she felt… _dark thoughts…_

At first, she’d try to think back, to cope, but before long, thinking back hurt more, so she came there to self-harm, to maim herself with her memories of the past.

She could feel herself losing energy, losing hope. She was giving up.

_But the sun was nowhere to be found, so in a last attempt, she yelled the name of the light one last time, dropping to her knees as hope left her for good._

-           -           -

 

Sayori curled up underneath a tree. It was painfully cold, and though she should _probably_ have just stood in the middle of the snowstorm and _let herself freeze to death_ , she couldn’t. She was _too much of a coward_ , _as usual._

She didn’t care, though. Being frozen to death would hurt more if it was slower, and she deserved the pain.

How many people who hadn’t even known what was going to happen, who had tried to care for someone – Natsuki, Yuri, her, _even Monika_ – had she hurt with that _stupid_ decision?

Surely the people who she didn’t were the ones who deserved it the most, because they _clearly_ _knew_ what _suffering_ their presence would cause, and yet _they played the game anyway._

They could have had _everything_ in their new reality at the end, they could have at least had _happiness._ But as usual, Sayori ended up sucking the happiness out of the world like a leach.

(She _had to_ smile, or _nobody else could be happy_ , because _she’d taken all the happiness and locked up inside herself like a pathetic hoarder_. It hurt to pull it back out, because she was so _selfish_ that she couldn’t even let go, so with each _hxppy thxught_ , she had to rip out a piece of herself with it).

Why did she have to show up in Faith’s life, why couldn’t she have ended up trapped with _anyone else?_ Why did she have to _ruin the life_ of someone _so perfect?_

She heard something. It was the sound of someone yelling her name.

 _No!_ _She couldn’t go back, she couldn’t have someone care for her – she didn’t deserve it!_

She reflexively turned away, heading into the cold, slowly, numb, empty, afraid.

The sound repeated, only this time it sounded _a little more hopeless_ , a little more broken. It was closer, too, and Sayori could hear Faith’s voice, just as she could _hear how she fell to her knees and started to cry._

She could hear how a moment later _she stopped making sounds altogether._

Sayori knew that she shouldn’t turn back, because she’d _probably only end up making things worse._

But then she remembered _soft lips against her own_ , _sky-blue pools of soft warmth meeting her blue eyes_ , gazing into them, _thawing the frozen ocean that lingered behind them_ , warming her, _pulling her out of the cold._

Sayori was unable to walk any further, because every step hurt more than anything else she had _ever_ experienced. Even _her suicide_ was a dull pain in comparison. Every step, it felt like a knife to her heart, _like she was being stabbed in the chest._

Tears welled in her eyes as indecision overwhelmed her. Every motion, every heartbeat, she was being _torn apart_.

_Or was she being pulled back together?_

She turned, running out into the open, following the sound, or at least, where she _thought_ it had been, finding a clearing near a bench.

 _There she was._ Asleep in the middle of the blizzard like that, Faith might have looked peaceful were her lips not bluer than Sayori’s eyes.

Sayori’s hands shook as she picked Faith up. Her muscles were unpracticed – she’d never had to hold anything, and definitely _not_ _anyone_ , and she almost stumbled, losing balance to her numb, cold limbs.

She _had_ to be strong, for Faith.

She stumbled, trying her best to remember the way back through the blizzard. She just hoped she’d be back in time.

Why had she been so _stupid?_ She should have just taken the quick way out, rather than running away. Running away like that caused Faith to chase her. Doing that was _what caused this._

But she couldn’t bring herself to do that, _either._

_How much would seeing Sayori dead on her watch hurt Faith?_

After all, Sayori wasn’t an idiot (or at least, she wasn’t _that much_ of an idiot, as the first statement was _debatable_ – this _whole situation_ was _her fault_ , wasn’t it?) _._ The way Faith had cried her name so _desperately_ like that, voice shaking, as if she had just lost everything…

She was starting to feel like, if she hadn’t shown up when she did, Faith might have done something _stupid_.

She pressed a kiss against Faith’s forehead, feeling how cold the girl in her arms _was_ with horror.

Sayori didn’t want to admit it, but she was falling for Faith incredibly quickly. Call it an insta-romance, _love at first sight_ , some other cheesy romance cliché she hadn’t gotten around to mentioning yet…

She loved Faith’s natural, bespoke beauty, her clear-cut, porcelain figure, her soft hips and _perfectly-shaped chest_ that hung naturally over a plump stomach and a rounded ass that trailed down in elegant, perfect legs to long, ballerina-feet.

She was _hopelessly_ in love with her silver tongue, her elegant demeanour and flirtatious sense of humour.

Before everything had gone wrong, before she’d started to hear her distorted screams bouncing back off the walls of her own minds, Sayori had often wondered what the perfect mate for her would be… She’d imagined a guy, of course, square-jawed, slim-yet-muscular, flirtatious, intelligent, kind…

The real thing was _so much better._

So, as she opened the door to Faith’s apartment, threw off both of their soaked clothes and placed her under as many duvets as she could find, it was safe to say that she _hoped_ that she hadn’t _ruined things again_ with her _stupid depression_.

_(Things usually went wrong when she let her emotions govern her actions.)_

Then, once Faith was in the main bedroom, Sayori couldn’t bring herself to leave, so she took a position on the other side of the bed, curling up into herself (she’d given Faith all the pillows too) and closing her eyes.

_It was too cold, but she deserved to freeze for this._

-           -           -

 

The sun crept in through the window like an invisible hand, spreading tendrils of warmth over the bed.

Faith’s eyes fluttered open gently to the soft smell of _strawberries and vanilla_.

Wait… Strawberries and vanilla… _who even…?_

Her eyes shot open to the sight of apricot hair resting across her face, between her and Sayori.

So the last day or two _hadn’t_ been a dream-turned-nightmare, then.

A pair of soft, gentle hands wrapped their way around her. She smiled, feeling them trailing against her bare back where her shirt seemed to have ridden up. It was almost as if the  _cute anime-girl-turned-real-person_ beneath her was a _cuddle-o-saurus_ – _go figure_.

Come to think of it, Faith didn’t remember finding Sayori the night before. _Didn’t she pass out?_

Oh well. She _certainly_ wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, was she?

She returned the gesture, planting a soft kiss to Sayori’s forehead.

The strawberry-blonde seemed to stir, but she didn’t open her eyes or reciprocate, instead her hands trailed softly over Faith’s body, finding exposed flesh at her rear, forcing Faith to bite her lip to stifle a moan.

A pair of blue eyes stared at her mischievously, grinning, salacious, as they watched.

So… quick recap: The hottest girl she’d ever met was lying there, pinned underneath her, feeling the curves of her ass, and _literally_ dressed in nothing but _her underwear_ (as was Faith, it seemed, even though she didn’t recall stripping down…)

Long story short, Faith was struggling to keep herself from ripping off whatever Sayori _was_ still wearing and having _incredibly hot_ morning cuddle sex.

She blushed deeply as the other girl pressed a gentle kiss to the crook of her neck, and then kicked her legs out from under her while she was… _otherwise occupied_ … rolling them over until she was lying on top.

Sayori let out a mischievous giggle, pressing a kiss against Faith’s cheek, “Mmmm~, I love you!” She husked in what had to be the most incredible combination of adorable and attractive Faith had ever heard in pillow talk.

(The girl was putting even _her_ to shame, and she’d been doing this for _years!)_

Then Sayori pulled away, eliciting a small whine from Faith, shortly followed by a barely-stifled gasp.

It seemed the ray of sunshine _had_ paid attention to the contents of her drawer, because she’d picked out an incredible combination of black lace and pink straps that not only complemented her skin _perfectly_ , but also practically glowed in the early dawn sunlight.

It seemed she didn’t particularly care for _how much_ of her body was visible _either_ , if the way she almost seemed to _strut_ out of the room was anything to go by.

 _Yeah_ , it wasn’t exactly _much_ of a surprise for Faith when she looked down to find her panties were _slick with her own fluid._

(What kind of idiot acted surprised to find that the sun was absolutely _scorching hot_ , anyways?)

-           -           -

 

Sayori smiled to herself a little as she stood in front of the counter, starting to cook pancakes.

Admittedly, she wasn’t all that good at cooking. Most of her attempts in the past had ended in failure, and when things went wrong, she usually panicked and made _even more_ mistakes.

But she was pretty sure she could handle _pancakes_ – some milk, some flour, eggs to form a batter, a reasonably well-heated pan, some sugar and syrup to put on top…

It was amazing that a food that tasted _so good_ could be made from so little. It was like a piece of abstract art – sending a message with only minimal colours.

(A message to _what?_ Why her _creative tummy_ , of course! Almost anything with ‘cake’ at the end of it spoke to her _creative tummy_ : - cupcakes, pancakes… Maybe not _balm cakes_ or _fish cakes_ though…)

Another pair of hands found their way to the pan-handle, just in front of hers, flipping it expertly, rolling the pancake over to the opposite side.

The smell was amazing, as was the sight of a nearly completely naked girl stood just behind her, wearing a beautiful smile.

(At what point was Sayori even going to be able to call Faith her _girlfriend?_ It was odd that that word felt _so much more natural_ than _the idea of_ a boyfriend.)

It was incredible, that this was even possible, considering that they had both almost frozen to death last night.

Sayori wished she didn’t make _stupid mistakes_ like that. She wished that she didn’t make _more mistakes_ because she panicked and assumed the worst after the first one, _every time_.

She was glad to have Faith as a constant point – a ‘northern star’ that she could always navigate her emotions by. She wasn’t sure, but she’d never really had that before.

Her best friend had changed over the years, meaning she couldn’t use _him_ – that had mostly left her, lost in the _ocean_ that was her emotions – and nobody else was even close enough to her for her to use them like that…

The first pancake fell onto a plate, and she and Faith repeated the process until there was no batter left, until they were laughing, smiling at each other, joking and flirting as the room began to take on the delicious aroma of _food and_ _joy_.

They sat next to each other this time, as Sayori wanted to be closer to Faith. It was strange, but she wanted to blush, to be flustered so much she could _barely even focus on anything, period._

She wanted to make Faith blush, wanted to see her smirk, to hear her use her incredible silver tongue…

She topped the pancakes with sugar and syrup, and they both began to tuck in to the dish in the middle of the table.

(It made more sense to eat like this than to get two more plates. Besides, Faith hadn’t objected to it, _had she?)_

 _Why did Sayori feel so happy with her?_ She’d never felt this way with anyone else, _had she?_

_She wasn’t sure…_

They reached forwards, their forks finding the same part of the pancake, sliding against each other…

Sayori glanced to her left, her eyes meeting Faith’s as they both smiled at each other. _The game was afoot_ as their forks collided, wrestling for dominance, playfully pushing, shunting against each other with the soft ting of metal against metal.

They smirked as they fought, both pulling the piece in opposite directions until it snapped in two, both eating their respective piece at the same time…

Faith’s eyes were _so full of joy._ Sayori smiled. She could _live_ , just to see her like this – happy, playful, _content…_

She took another piece, but this time it was hesitant, with a shaking hand.

She gave Faith a nudge with her elbow, catching the other girl’s attention, blushing. She stammered, “H-Hey, is it alright if I… um… _feed you?”_

Faith grinned, and Sayori could _feel_ the silver-tongue about to strike her, but then a blush spread across the other girl’s cheeks. “Y… You want to _feed me?”_ She asked, averting her gaze and looking down, as if trying to hide behind hair she didn’t have, _“U…Um…”_ She giggled nervously, “I mean, if you _really_ want too…”

Sayori smiled, cupping Faith’s cheek in one hand, “Open wide!” She chimed, feeling the warmth of Faith’s body, _her breath against her hand…_

She gently placed the end of the fork into Faith’s mouth, watching her lips clamp softly over the metal, run delicately down it…

Oh god… _she was jealous… Jealous, of a piece of metal and a pancake…_

Their eyes met, and it seemed that Faith understood, because she released the fork, running her tongue over her lips, salaciously, then pulled Sayori close again, wrapping her arms around the other girl’s back, eliciting a small growl of appreciation.

Their lips met quickly, softly, their legs interlocking as they fell back against the laminate beneath them, bare skin on the cold surface and on each other as Faith ran a hand through Sayori’s hair.

She _loved_ this. Sayori really did love this. _She wished she could have had it sooner. Why couldn’t this have been their reality in the first place?_

_Wouldn’t things have been better if it was like that?_

By the time they parted again, they were both a little breathless, curled up in each other’s arms.

It was a little odd…

_The pancakes had gone cold, but their breakfast together was so much better for it._

-           -           -

 

Evening arrived quicker than Faith would have wanted it to. Since their kiss that morning, she couldn’t even bear to look Sayori in the eye.

She was so _weak._ She couldn’t _ever_ be with Sayori – Sayori was _too good for her_ , and besides, _she’d probably end up ruining her_ , like she’d _ruined_ Kai.

Kai had been so much better than her – she had been _beautiful, incredible, sweet, kind…_

Kai had an _amazing_ personality when they met…

But by the end, Faith had made her think that she wouldn’t ever be loved by anyone else, convinced her that she was Kai’s one and only – her everything…

So when their romance fell apart, Kai couldn’t let her go, because she’d _made Kai believe_ she couldn’t live without her, hadn’t she. _Like an idiot_ , she’d been _endearing_ and _romantic_ and _sappy_ with her. Like an _idiot_ , she’d _born her heart like a gift, even though it was really a curse…_

She should have just ignored Kai, let their friendship _burn_ …

But instead, she’d flirted and teased and kissed her way into a relationship neither of them really wanted, or needed; a pile of painful, hurtful feelings neither of them could quite decipher. And now she was doing it all over again with _another beautiful girl_ , and she couldn’t even find the strength to stop herself!

She excused herself quietly, making her way to the spare room and standing on the balcony.

Faith liked the balcony at night. Standing under the stars like this was comforting, therapeutic, because it reminded her that not everything in this world had been _touched by her issues._

She never _wanted_ to hurt the people she loved, she just did it _innately_ , by mistake – _it was in her nature._

Kai was only _the most recent person_ in a _long, painful daisy chain_ of people whose lives Faith had ruined by trying to be _what they wanted_ , by trying to help them, or to _love_ them – by trying to make them happy, _only to fail them when it mattered the most…_

She was _pathetic._

Even her usual escape – the balcony – had been tainted by memories of the mistakes she’d made with Kai, how she’d told her about this, thinking that it’d never happen again…

How had she been so dumb, _so stupid?_

How had she _even_ _thought for a second_ that Kai and **_Her_** would work out? Love _never_ worked out for her, but she’d let herself hope, like an idiot. She’d fallen for that optimistic demeanor Kai carried with her like some sort of candle, lighting up the world around her.

She’d let herself believe that beautiful candle light might be hers to keep, only to snuff it out, suffocate it, choke the light out of existence, leaving just smoldering ashes, a reminder of _what she was._

She ruined everything, but the world wasn’t even kind enough to let her leave without hurting her _one last time._

Why did Sayori have to show up in _her life?_ She’d be _so much happier_ with someone else – _anyone else_ – but instead, the world put her in Faith’s path, and doomed them both to suffer some more.

It was like some kind of _cruel joke,_ but for the life of her, Faith couldn’t quite figure out the _punchline._

Perhaps some audience was watching this happen to her, seeing her suffer. They were probably laughing at her pain, or throwing their _false pity_ at her, as if they could _ever_ understand.

It was probably _entertaining_ for them to watch her suffer like this. They probably had _nothing better to do._

Well, at least she’d _made someone smile_ , somewhere… _That was_ _what mattered, wasn’t it?_

If a shooting star had come by, Faith would have wished that she could be _put out of her misery_ , but _no star came._ The world wouldn’t _ever_ give her _that kind of opportunity,_ would it?

Faith considered taking a few steps forward. Giving herself the _mercy_ the world would never be _kind enough_ to give her itself.

But she remembered soft arms around her chest, a sweet smile, the smell of strawberries and eyes the colour of oceans…

And she _couldn’t._ She just _couldn’t._

Why did Sayori have to pick _her?_ Surely someone else would be better? Anyone else would have been kinder to her – _anyone_ else would have helped her, made her smile with _so much more ease,_ without having to _act,_ or _pretend_ that each flirtation, each playful, teasing joke, wasn’t _killing her inside._

Faith felt sick. She couldn’t go back inside, but she couldn’t take a step forwards either. She was trapped, forever staring over the precipice, staring endlessly at an exit that was _forever out of reach._

Was that how Monika felt in the game? Trapped, unable to leave, the way out just in front of her, blocked only by an impenetrable wall? Knowing that things would be infinitely better if it was just _slightly different,_ but _unable to do anything but make them worse?_

She turned away from the stars, giving up on getting any solace tonight, instead turning back, pulling the door shut, curling up under her bedsheets and sobbing uncontrollably as the dam she’d used to keep all of the _painful needles of self-doubt_ out _finally cracked open_.

There was nothing else she could do but _cry._

-           -           -

 

Sayori had to admit she was a little worried about Faith. Again, after they’d kissed, she’d almost seemed to _retreat into herself_ , stopping talking, flirting – _almost everything._

Sayori was _pretty sure_ she wasn’t that bad at this whole romance thing, but then again, she’d never really done this before, so she was probably wrong…

That wasn’t the point, though. She didn’t really _care_ if she was _so bad at this_ that Faith _didn’t want anything to do with her_ right now. She just wanted to make sure that she was ok.

Sayori left her room and was about to head downstairs when she heard something… It sounded like… _crying…_ coming from inside Faith’s room.

She slowed down, opening the door carefully. She didn’t want to disturb Faith if she was busy, or if she _wanted to be left alone._

Faith was curled up into herself underneath the blankets of her bed, crying loudly, and Sayori felt a churning in the pit of her stomach at the sound. How long had Faith been doing this – _how long had she been sitting in her room, sobbing, alone?_ For how many days had she been _pushing Sayori away_ so she could _sneak off, hide in another corner of the house, and cry like that?_

How long had Sayori been _failing her_ for? Could this be forgiven, or should she be _punishing herself_ for it? Should she _beat herself up for her mistakes?_

Another sob shook her from her thoughts, and, without thinking, she made her way over to the brunette, brushing aside the hazy, fat tears that were running down her cheeks, leaving red trails under and around her eyes – her _beautiful_ eyes were now _puffy, red and swollen_ , _gosh,_ she had been doing this for _hours_ , _hadn’t she?_

Their gazes met, Faith’s lower lip trembling with remorse as Sayori pulled her into a soft embrace. She tried her best to comfort her. She wasn’t going to talk to Faith – _talking never helped her when she was crying,_ because it made her _try to respond_ and then feel _even more pathetic_ for _not being able to._

Instead, she met the other girl’s eyes with a gaze that was as soft, as loving, as she could manage. A gaze that said ‘You are amazing’, that said ‘I love you’, that said ‘Please, tell me what’s wrong. You don’t _have to_ do this to yourself…’

A gaze that said ‘You don’t have to go through this on your own, I’m here for you!’

She watched the smile that crossed Faith’s features, a smile which could only be described as _bittersweet._

A smile crossed Sayori’s features in response, a soft smile that held all the warmth of the sun, captured and relayed back at Faith, thawing the cold and shining through the rainclouds that made her feel ever-so-broken.

The sun shone down upon her and each _tearful regret_ turned into a soft and beautiful rainbow.

Faith leaned forwards, pulling Sayori into her arms, crushing her gently into a hug, as if a touch would break her, as if every sensation could vanish at any moment, at any second, she could wake up from this _dream_ and none of it would have been real.

Their exchange came with no words, with no confessions, no bleary-eyed kisses or sentences uttered beneath stammers of pained guilt and lumps in the back of their throats, but it was more meaningful than anything written into words could _ever_ have managed to be.

Sayori rested against Faith, calming her, letting her sobbing die down, slowly, helping her rest, helping her grow tired beneath the other girl’s warmth.

With every passing moment, the storm waned, losing some of the power it had over Faith, losing some of the leverage it was using to make her feel inadequate, some of the cold water that it was raining down upon her to turn an otherwise beautiful night to the coldest of Hells.

Sayori stayed there, even once the crying had stopped, because she wasn’t going to leave Faith to face this on her own. Faith deserved _better_ than that, better than to be left to deal with this by herself.

She could tell that Faith was doubting if this was even real, feeling like this was just some sort of _strange fever dream_.

So, it was with a smile that she made the decision to stay with her until the next morning, to keep warming her, giving her something to hold onto in her sadness, her _fear._

Something to clutch at when she felt like she was falling into an endless nothing, a void of infinite pain, infinite emptiness…

Sayori would have given everything to have that, because just _having that alone_ would have been _enough to save her_ , so…

_It was the least she could do…_

-           -           -

 

The sun rose the next morning to the both of them curled up in each other’s arms.

Faith _had to admit_ that Sayori was cute, and she was absolutely _hopeless_ when it came to _crushing on adorable girls like her..._

She ran a hand through Sayori’s hair, tousling it, feeling a playful grin crossing her face as the other girl realized what she was doing and started _pouting at her like crazy._

She sighed, “I’m… really, _really_ _grateful_ for what you’ve done for me, _you know?”_ Her voice shook on the last few words, because it still felt so _wrong_ , that the girl who had been in this world for no longer than a few days was taking care of her, and not the other way round.

Yet, the way Sayori smiled at her, a ray of sunshine piercing the _dark rainclouds_ before they could return… It was almost like she was _created for this_.

She frowned, knowing the next thing she had to say was going to hurt. But she _owed_ the girl an explanation. “You’re not the first person I’ve fallen in love with, though, and… the last one…” Her voice shook, and she almost started crying again as _every single memory she had of Kai_ threatened to _claw its way out_ and _tear her tattered heart to shreds._ “…I _honestly thought_ we were going to last, but we didn’t, and I can’t help but feel like I hurt her, like I _broke her or something…_ ”

Sayori smiled sadly, a few empathetic tears at the corners of her eyes, and pulled Faith into a soft hug, the kind of warm, amazing comfort that only a _practiced best friend_ could give.

 _“Have you asked her how she is?”_ Sayori questioned softly, in a manner that _somehow_ managed to not sound judgemental.

Faith frowned. _“No. I haven’t.”_ She sighed shakily, “I _wish_ I could, but every time I consider doing it, I remember how she looked at me after we broke up, _when we still crossed paths by mistake every once in a while…_ Her eyes, they were _so full of pain, so full of hatred…”_

Sayori giggled softly, and Faith could _live_ for that sound. ( _Yeah,_ she could actually _live for_ a lot of things about this girl, come to think about it…)

She pressed a gentle kiss to Faith’s forehead, then looked her in the eye, her eyes beautiful, blue, soft, and yet _so_ , _so_ _understanding,_ then she sighed, averting her gaze. “You have to talk to her. I know it hurts, I know it’s hard, but if you don’t, you’ll never move on. If you don’t, you’ll always be _wondering if you’re right.”_

Faith frowned, “Why does that _sound like it comes from experience?”_ The idea that someone had broken Sayori’s heart like that… it made her feel so, _so incredibly angry._

Sayori sighed sadly, “There was one guy I loved, once, but… he didn’t feel the same way… _He was in love with someone else.”_ Her lip trembled, “But we’re friends now. I… We almost weren’t, but… He meant the world to me, so…”

Faith smiled, “So you talked to him.” She almost laughed. She could _actually see_ Sayori chasing down some guy who wanted absolutely nothing to do with her just to make sure he was ok about the end of a relationship they’d _never even had in the first place._

She chuckled when the other girl blushed a deep red, letting out a nervous giggle, “I-I mean, yeah, but didn’t I just tell you that?” She asked, sounding so hilariously unsure.

Faith pulled Sayori in close, letting her lips close tightly over the other girl’s, driving her tongue up into her mouth and trailing her hands down to her hips, slowly, _carefully, gently._

The other girl arched her back with an incredible, breathy moan, and even after their kiss was over and Sayori excused herself with a half-mumbled excuse about having to _‘go make breakfast… or something’_ Faith found it was replaying on loop in the back of her mind.

_A having a happy thought to replace all the heartbreak meant the world to her._

-           -           -

 

That day was the exact _definition_ of a _lazy day._ Faith didn’t really have much _motivation_ to go out and do anything, and Sayori wasn’t going to leave her to deal with everything on her own.

As a result, Faith found herself trapped against the sofa by approximately 5 duvets and one very, _very_ tactile Sayori. Truth be told, it was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen. Sayori being her _cute_ , _overly caring_ self, had gone overboard, and now Faith was little more than a _human marshmallow_.

Oh, and they were watching a really sweet, pastel-art anime that Sayori had _apparently_ heard about from Natsuki.

(Faith could practically hear that ~~tsundere~~ _sensible_ pinkette telling her adamantly that she was _not_ cute. Knowing about this anime would make it _even harder_ to believe her now… Not that it was _ever_ believable in the first place…)

Faith wasn’t going to admit this out loud (if she did, she’d probably _never hear the end of it_ ), but she was actually enjoying being a human marshmallow. So long as Sayori was there with her, cuddling up, nuzzling into the duvets in a way that was so incredibly cute that Faith could practically see _little cartoonish hearts_ coming off of her…

(Oh god… they actually _were_ there, _weren’t they?_ )

Faith stifled a laugh in the side of the duvets, but apparently the other girl heard her, because she looked up with a mischievous grin. _“Ticklish?”_ She asked, her voice lilting in a bemused fashion that told Faith _everything_.

She was _definitely_ about to _die of laughter_ if she couldn’t stop Sayori from tickling her.

She _put up her defences_ (in the form of two gangly arms and a pout, _for effect_ ).

Sayori’s hands wormed her way expertly around the covers and started to expertly administer tickles – it was as if she’d had _practice_!

Faith couldn’t stop herself from laughing, twitching and kicking, _squirming._ But she was enjoying it. It was the best laugh she’d had in a while…

She couldn’t _tickle herself_ , after all…

They fell to the floor with a soft thump, entwined and half-covered by the duvets around them, Faith’s hair falling back messily, splaying out, unkempt.

But Sayori was _just getting started._

_Needless to say, she didn’t see much of the show they were supposed to be watching that day…_

-           -           -

 

The next day rolled around faster than the sensation of _levity_ from the day before could fully wear off, as did the day after that, and the one after that.

Something about Sayori _truly_ made Faith _happy_ , so she was _definitely_ glad that she hadn’t let her go… If she’d lost her that fateful second night, she wasn’t sure what she would have done, and if Sayori hadn’t shown up in the first place…

Well, that didn’t really matter, did it? Sayori was here, wasn’t she?

( _Oh God_ , now even _her_ inner monologue was starting to sound like that _ray of sunshine._ Sure, Faith _had to admit_ she was _precious_ to her, but… Well… It was actually _kinda_ _scary_ , how insanely _sweet_ she was _without even trying…_ )

Sayori’s beautiful happiness was infectious, warming the hearts of _everyone and everything_ it shone over, thawing any sadness that remained within them.

It was _amazing_ , to be safely beneath the light given off by the sun…

She smiled to herself. The girl was _a miracle worker_ – that much was _obvious_. Nothing short of a miracle could have pulled her from the shards of her loss; could have made her smile once more…

Anyway, Faith was _still_ smiling, _even now,_ _even_ as she lugged an _oversized_ _sack of bread_ up the hill. (The nearest park bench was practically a _seductive temptress_ right now, Faith mused.)

It was a little _annoying_ , considering that she’d packed _far less food_ for the both of them.

(“But what about _the ducks?_ ” Sayori had asked eagerly, “I want to feed _the ducks.”_ And Faith’s heart had _splintered_ , giving way to _bad decision making_ , such as the decision to let Sayori pack _all the bread in the house_ that she herself had brought the week before – _another bad decision on her part.)_

She _hadn’t had the heart_ to tell Sayori that there probably _wouldn’t be_ _any ducks_ in _February._

They reached the bench in front of the pond. It was _admittedly_ a little cold, but it was one of the _milder_ days of the month today… She was glad for that, because she _wouldn’t be too happy_ if Sayori were to catch a cold…

_(Could previously-fictional girls from visual novels even catch colds?)_

She dropped the train of thought _before_ her brain exploded, continuing to heave the sack up the hill.

(When she’d started going to the gym earlier in the year, in hopes of making herself stronger, she hadn’t expected _this_ to be _the purpose of her hard work…)_

 _Apparently_ she was wrong earlier. There was _a duck_. (But there was only _one_ , because the world wouldn’t be _kind_ enough to _outright make her wrong_ , instead it’d choose to _mock her_ by making her _just far enough_ off the truth for it to be a _twisted joke._ )

She could _almost_ hear the demented laughter of a _green-haired evil clown…_

Faith smirked at Sayori’s _visible_ excitement (she was also _more than a little happy_ to be able to _finally_ put the bread down). However, the smirk was quickly knocked off her face when the other girl practically _mowed her down._

“Faith, look! A duck!” Sayori yelled, with _all the exuberance of a 5 year-old_ , “I _can’t believe_ I’ve _never seen one_ before!”

(Faith made a mental side note to _never_ take Sayori to a Zoo…)

-           -           -

 

As Sayori sat on the grass verge with Faith by her side, she could barely keep a smile off her face.

She enjoyed spending time with her… _girlfriend?_... If this was _a date_ , then that _definitely_ made Faith her _girlfriend_ , right? She really hoped it did… Even though the word – _girlfriend_ – was just _that_ , a _word_ , and it didn’t change _anything_ about _who they were to each other,_ Sayori still _couldn’t wait_ to make it _official._

For every moment that it wasn’t, she could still believe when she closed her eyes that it _meant nothing_. But once it was, then she’d be the happiest girl in the world…

(Ok, maybe the _happier_ happiest girl in the world, because Faith would probably insist that she was _already_ the first one…)

She glanced across at _her girlfriend_ , who was lounging in the sunlight, relaxed, head resting softly on her lap.

After having lunch (and giving about _two tonnes_ of bread to one _incredibly lucky_ duck… _yeah,_ she should _probably_ apologize to Faith for making her carry all of that bread later…), they’d sort of ran out of energy to do much besides lounge on the grass.

It was February, but it wasn’t all that cold for once. It was actually almost pleasant, _half way between frigid and stiflingly hot_.

Sayori could still feel the snow from the first time she’d come to this park… It _really_ _wasn’t the best memory_.

Oh well, she didn’t exactly have much of a reason to move right now. She was happy, Faith was happy too – that much was _visible, obvious._

She leaned over, parting Faith’s bangs and pressing a soft kiss to _her girlfriend’s_ forehead, watching her face shift from _pensive_ to _a perfect, beautiful smile_ as the touch registered.

She realized that her depression hadn’t flaired up in a while. It was still there. She could still hear it, echoing, _bouncing off of the walls,_ but it hadn’t overwhelmed her lately. It hadn’t made her cry or made her hurt…

Sayori smiled to herself. _That made sense._

_If every day could be like this, Sayori was more than happy to keep going._

-           -           -

 

The day had come to an end _faster than either of them had wanted it to_ , and before they knew it, they were both sat on the balcony, staring out at the sunset.

Faith sighed, looking down at Sayori, who was nestled softly into her lap. She wished that she could spend every day of her life like this one, but _that wasn’t possible…_

She was a student at a local college. When the teachers there had noticed _her depression,_ worsened by her breakup with Kai, was affecting _her grades_ – her _oh-so-very-important_ grades, they’d given her a week off to _‘take care of it_ ’, _or she would be kicked off the courses she’d taken._

Admittedly, that was _probably_ a better deal than anywhere else would ever give her, and she supposed it was probably because she had a good friendship with most of the teachers that they gave her that chance, but _the week_ was almost over.

Sayori had shown up after _two long, hard days_ of failing to find the _motivation_ in herself to do anything, shop, eat, _even get out of bed._

(She’d _just barely_ had the energy to play **_Doki Doki Literature Club!_ ** at the end of _last Sunday_ …)

This last week had gone by _far faster_ than she’d expected, and she was _due to come back in tomorrow._

It was time to tell her. She frowned, steadying her voice and breathing before speaking, “Hey, _Sayo?”  
_ Sayori looked up at her, but seemed to immediately notice that something was wrong. “Yeah?” She asked, but Faith could almost _see_ the fear in her eyes.

Faith sighed sadly, “How would you react if I told you _I have to go to college tomorrow_ , and _every weekday_ from then on…”

Sayori looked _heartbroken_ at that, mustering a week smile, she giggled hollowly, “T-that’s fine Faith. I…” She looked away, forcing back a sob, then looked back, “I’m _really_ proud of you, _you know?_ ”

Faith felt guilt _like a knife to the chest_. She gave in.

“You know what… _I agree_. It’s stupid, and…” She sighed, “I’m not sure I can handle the distance _either…_ ” People at her college, they all meant _nothing_ to her, and barely any of them even greeted her when she showed up. They _probably wouldn’t even notice_ if she was gone.

Sayori looked torn between hugging her and crying, “But… _your education…_ _Faith,_ I don’t want to see you become a NEET!”

Faith chuckled, remembering that phase from the game. It was probably one of the few moments Sayori got to speak truthfully, _she supposed…_

She sighed, “I’m not going to become a NEET, I just…” She frowned, bottom lip quivering as she felt the prick of tears at the edges of her eyes, “College doesn’t feel like _a good fit_ for me _anymore._ ”

Sayori frowned, “Ok, but…” She sighed, wrapping her arms around Faith in a way that made all her short-term decision-making skills fall to pieces. “ _Promise me_ you’ll _at least_ give tomorrow a shot, ok?”

“Y-Yeah… I’ll try, for you…” Faith gave in, reluctantly sobbing as her _girlfriend_ held her.

Wait… Sayori was her _girlfriend_ now?

Faith supposed she could have chosen worse, and besides, Sayori was really, _really_ nice. If there was anyone she would want to be her girlfriend, it was _her._ (Not to mention that if today was a date, that _kinda_ made Sayori _her girlfriend by association_ , didn’t it?)

The sun had set, and now only the stars were visible outside.

It was admittedly a little scary, knowing that she was going to be going back to college tomorrow, and _anything_ could happen when she did.

But Faith was content, for the first time in a while, because she had a constant in her life:

_Sayori, her newfound North Star, ever-constant, guiding her through the darkness._

-           -           -

 

Faith brought a bottle of red wine up to the balcony at around 8, placing it down with a heavy _clunk_. She smirked at her girlfriend’s shocked expression. “I’ll be fine – I’m not a lightweight!” Then she grinned _salaciously_ , _“Want to help me drink it?”_

Sayori twitched visibly, “U-Um… I’ve… never _actually_ drank anything before…” She spoke, downcast, before backpedalling “I mean, I was always terrified I’d do something stupid, or people would find out about my… _well…_ and they’d _worry_ about me…”

Faith poured herself a glass as she listened, then took a small sip, wrapping her arm around her girlfriend as the bitter sensation piqued her taste buds for affection. “You’re _adorable._ ”

Sayori fidgeted, “I am?” She asked, then blushed deeply as she seemed to realize that her _‘question’_ _basically answered itself_ , “I mean, yeah! _Of course_ I am!”

Faith handed Sayori the glass, letting the girl take a sip, her whole face screwing up as she tasted the bitter drink.

Faith smirked, taking the glass back and pulling her into a kiss. She tasted _slightly fruity_ , a little sweet…

_Just as expected._

_If Faith could choose her girlfriend, she’d be more than happy for it to be her._

-           -           -

 

It was seven o’clock – or, _as it was better known_ , time for Faith to leave, _(at least, if she wanted to get to college on time_ that is…)

She smirked, glancing at her slumbering girlfriend.

Sayori had passed out, _fully drunk,_ at about 10. (By 9 she’d already been keeping the bottle _quite thoroughly_ to herself, taking deep swigs from it.)

Faith hadn’t minded that one bit – Sayori was a _hot_ drunk, happy, completely clueless (oh, and rather _tactile_ too), with her habit of being adorably ditzy only being _exaggerated_ by the alcohol, because Sayori had it _backwards_.

Her smile _wasn’t_ a mask. It was the _real_ her, and her depression was merely a _parasite_ that masqueraded as her ‘true personality’, pretending that she _hadn’t_ been happy before it arrived and started convincing her that every smile, every laugh, _every moment of joy_ , was _nothing but a lie._

Faith gave her girlfriend a small, soft kiss on the cheek before scrawling a note to tell her that she had gone to college, and that she hoped Sayori would have a good day today.

She’d also made sure to transfer all the videos she’d taken of the girl the night before to her iPod just after she woke up. (She’d _definitely_ been a little drunk herself when she’d made them – _no surprise there_ , as _Sayori_ and _her making terrible decisions_ practically went hand in hand.)

She hadn’t watched them yet, though…

She made a sandwich for the girl and placed it on the counter before placing a kiss on her forehead between her unkempt bangs, then leaving the apartment.

(She wished she could stay, but the world wouldn’t let her, so she’d just have to do everything in her power to make Sayori proud by making it through today, and the day after, and the day after that…)

Before Sayori had arrived, Faith had been considering leaving college – leaving the world altogether – but the miracle worker had made her change her mind.

_Life was great, if you had the right people beside you through it all._

-           -           -

 

Sayori woke up with a headache. She was dizzy, and she couldn’t _quite think straight_. She tried to move, only for her hand to flop back, revealing an empty bottle hanging between her fingers.

_Ah… so that was why she was feeling so light-headed…_

(Wait… had she drank _an entire bottle_ on her own?)

No… She and Faith had shared it between them. Faith had taken about two thirds of it, and by the end, they’d started passing the bottle back and forward… or at least, she was _pretty sure_ they did…

She pulled herself to her feet, feeling a little dizzy. She was glad she hadn’t drank any more than she did, otherwise she probably would have thrown up or something, and she didn’t want Faith to have to clean that up…

She noticed the sandwich and the note. So Faith was at college… _Good…_

If only _she_ could be at college. Instead, she was _pretty much a NEET…_ (It was a little _funny_ that what she feared would become of _everyone else_ was actually _her fate_ in the end…)

Sayori tucked into the sandwich as she read the note. Faith had sent a few videos from last night that she’d found on her phone to her iPod so Sayori could watch them? Hmm… she supposed it _wasn’t like she had much else to do…_

She made her way to Faith’s room, taking the iPod and placing it on the table next to the plate. As she ate her sandwich, she watched the first video:

Sayori smiled drunkenly, taking a swig from the bottle in her hand. Her eyes were half-lidded as she grabbed Faith, who was holding the camera – her phone – into a deep kiss.

The kiss was _needy_ and _hot_ , _unrestrained_. Sayori could see both herself and Faith smirking into each other’s mouths as their hands explored each other’s backs, their shirts riding up as their hands found bare skin, both girls giggling.

It seemed her drunken self was quite risqué, if the way she pinched together Faith’s ass, eliciting a _deep moan_ , was anything to go by.

Sayori smiled, pulling back and running her tongue over her lips. “Ehehe, _I love you so much~_ ” She purred, before pulling Faith back in.

Sayori could _already_ feel herself loosening – her fingers drifting down to her own _painfully hot core_ as she watched – but then Faith showed a full smile and _blew a kiss to the camera,_ before tackling Sayori to the ground, _mounting her._

It was just _too much!_ The video wasn’t even playing anymore, but it didn’t have to… The _memories_ of last night spoke for themselves.

_The new additions to the list of things Sayori should probably apologize for: A stool, some trousers, and a pair of lace panties._

-           -           -

 

They continued like this for the next few weeks. Sayori being Faith’s main source of pleasure and enjoyment outside college hours (as well as a surprising amount of help with her assignments, helping keep her motivated and reminding her about deadlines.)

(Sayori would probably be _a really good student_ , if how good she was at _timekeeping_ was anything to go by, anyways…)

But, even though Faith didn’t want to admit it, her memories of what happened with Kai were regularly haunting her, stopping her from going any further, making her have to occasionally take a moment aside from her work to text Sayori, just to remind herself that it was _now,_ _not then,_ and that she _wasn’t alone, not anymore._

Her girlfriend always responded, pretty much immediately, and her texts never failed to make Faith laugh, either. Truthfully, Faith was _truly_ happy to have Sayori… _(She’d probably never admit that to Sayori’s face, though!)_

It was two weeks later when Faith came back home. She was more exhausted than usual that day. It had been a bad day, because a few of the people at her college had asked her about Kai, if they were _getting back together_.

(Because _apparently_ some people were _too closed-minded_ to imagine that anyone other than _Kai_ could possibly make Faith smile.)

(They’d never been together, not _like that_ , not _really_. People had just assumed, and slowly, Faith had _let herself believe_ it could happen, until their friendship started teetering on the cliff edge between _‘friends’_ and _‘something more’_ …)

She collapsed onto her bed, drained and admittedly, _very_ _glad_ it was a Friday.

(Weekends with Sayori were really _the best_. Some weekends, they’d order takeout and _spend both days cuddling_ , while others, if they both had _a little bit more energy_ , they’d _go out somewhere_ and Sayori would be incredibly excited about it _every day before then.)_

She couldn’t help but smirk slightly. Her girlfriend was _adorable_ – _she loved every inch of her from head to toe_ , and _even when_ she was drained like this, she’d be _more than willing_ to remind her if needed.

The ray of sunshine arrived into the room with the gift of takeout pizza, reheated from midday (Sayori had ordered takeout pizza for lunch after the oven had stopped working yesterday afternoon – Faith had needed to comfort her and tell her that she _believed her_ , _it wasn’t her fault,_ just faulty piping on an old appliance, to stop her crying about it, because _of course_ the oven would choose to break when _Sayori_ was using it).

They curled up under the covers, staring at each other lovingly, Sayori eating a slice of pizza from the top down in a way that looked like it was ripped from the pages of a manga – her eyes were even closed!

She moved forth, taking another bite, the pizza sliding against the corner of her mouth, leaving a small stain at the top corner.

When she finished, she stretched her tongue to try to clean the source, but it couldn’t quite reach, so she was sticking her tongue out, falling ever so slightly short of what she was trying to reach with it.

 _(Good God! That_ was _officially way too adorable_ for Faith to handle at this time of day!)

Faith leaned forwards, directing her girlfriend to face her, and lapping up the stain herself.

She grinned, watching Sayori’s adorable blush as she looked away, refusing eye contact.

At that moment, Faith had a revelation. If Sayori was _this cute_ eating pizza, _how cute would she look_ _eating candy floss at a fair?_

She smirked, entertaining the idea for a moment before deciding that it was officially _the best idea_ _she’d had in the last year_ , “Hey, Sayo?” She asked.

Sayori seemed taken off guard, adjusting her position as she ate another slice of pizza. (She was a vacuum when it came to food, often losing herself in the taste as she ate it… Unfortunately, that meant she sometimes did silly things, like bite her tongue or space out while eating!)

She smiled warmly, _“Yeah?”_

Faith grinned, “Want to go to the fun fair tomorrow? _I read that there was one coming into town…”_

Sayori moved closer, finishing her slice as she sidled up, _“Do we get to go on rides?”_

Faith smirked, pulling her closer to press a kiss to her cheek, _“You bet we do.”_

_But if this idea was so perfect, why was she so apprehensive about it?_

-           -           -

 

When they set off to go to the fair, it was overcast, but by the time they got there, it had cleared up just a little. The fair was _thankfully_ within walking distance (Faith _dreaded_ the idea of having to take the bus there!)

If Faith was going to be _honest_ , she wasn’t really the biggest fan of this kind of carnival. The rollercoasters were usually too fast for her liking. The games were _always_ rigged, the Hot Dogs were often enough to give you a stomach bug and there was always that one kid that had a tantrum _somewhere_.

(All too often, it just _had_ to happen when Faith was in the room…)

But today was different, because Sayori was visibly excited for this, and her excitement was enough to make Faith feel excited too.

Sayori almost _immediately_ took her hand, guiding her _like a dog on a leash_ to the _tunnel of love_. (Ugh, _of course she’d_ _pick_ the most _dorky, affectionate_ ride at the whole fair!)

The girl smirked, the bow in her hair – a reminder of her previous appearance – _just_ lopsided enough to be a playful gesture. “I know it’s like, really cheesy, but…” She began as they got there, blushing a little, “I wanted to start with something slow, that could remind you how much you mean to me…”

Faith couldn’t hold back her smile, letting Sayori lead her onto the boat and sit down opposite her.

They began moving forwards, heading into the tunnel.

Sayori smiled cheerily, “You know, at first, I was scared, I thought that it’d be better if I’d ended up in someone else’s life, because I thought I was hurting you by being here…”

She leaned forwards, and Faith couldn’t help but blush as the girl pecked her on the cheek before returning to her original position, staring at her, head in her hands, adoration in her eyes. “You’re… the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so…”

She sighed sadly, eyes glistening with stemmed tears, “I know _forever_ is a bit of an unrealistic expectation, _but…_ Can we _at least_ make this last for as long as it can?”

Faith moved across, taking a seat upon Sayori’s lap, watching her blush as her skirt rode up a little, “Well…” She gave her girlfriend a full kiss – she’d earned it, _hadn’t she?_ “I can’t promise _forever_ , but I love you, and I feel the same way, so…” She met her lover’s eyes, _“Is that enough for us?”_

_The answer came in the form of a pair of hands wrapping their way around her back, pulling her into a kiss, her mouth being explored tentatively by a soft tongue as a pair of blue oceans washed their adoration across her in their gaze._

-           -           -

 

After the _tunnel of love_ , Sayori and Faith were admittedly a little tired. Faith decided with a small smile to get them a _large_ stick of candy floss to share, then led them to a bench underneath the _huge_ Ferris wheel at the corner of the park.

She _loved_ Sayori, and returned the sentiment that this girl was _the best thing that had ever happened to her._

She couldn’t help but feel like this probably wouldn’t have happened, like there were many, _many_ other worlds in which she just about held on for a while before deciding to jump after making sure that Kai was ok, because, the truth was, that was _pretty much_ the _only_ thing that was keeping her going before Sayori showed up.

If Sayori hadn’t shown up, she might have jumped, or she might have done something far, _far_ worse.

She might have _planned_ to jump, made the decision that _she would_ , once she had made sure that Kai was ok, _made sure that Kai had moved on..._

Sayori had saved her life, as well as her ambition, her education – everything. _Either way,_ the girl was _her saviour,_ and _not even_ a _lifetime of love_ could _ever_ repay her for that.

She noticed the stick was being offered to her, and took a mouthful of the candy floss, smiling as its _sweet_ taste ( _not quite_ _as sweet_ as the girl sitting to her left) ran across her tongue.

She grinned, “So, it’s _official_ , huh?”

Sayori smirked, “That you’re _a dork?_ _Definitely.”_

Faith blushed deeply, looking away from her girlfriend who was way, _way_ too attractive right now for her own good.

As she looked back a moment later, she saw something she had been dreading, but the reality of seeing it made things far, _far_ worse.

_There was Kai, on the wheel in front of her, pressed deep into a kiss with another girl._

-           -           -

 

Faith knew that Sayori saw that too, but her girlfriend was _deathly_ pale. She started to make her way as far from the wheel as possible, but Sayori grabbed her hand.

“I can’t be with you for this, Faith.” She sighed sadly, averting her eyes, “I just saw _Monika_ up there.” Then she frowned, “ _Promise me_ you’ll tell her, _promise me_ you’ll _make things right?_ ”

Faith smiled sadly, weakly, _lying_ , _“I promise.”_

She wasn’t _strong enough_ to do this alone. She raced to make her way as far away from that wheel as she could. The faster she left the park, _the better._

She was almost away when an all-too familiar face practically stumbled into her path. It was _unavoidable_ now.

 _I promise._ She repeated inside her head as she spoke, defaulting to her natural empty silver tone. “Kai?” She asked, trying to be calm, trying _desperately_ to be composed. Trying not to let it be obvious how much seeing Kai with _someone else_ – with Monika, _even_ worse – _hurt her._

“H-hey, Faith…” Kai stuttered. It was obvious she felt _just_ as uneasy about this, and from that Faith felt some _triumphant_ pleasure. Only a little, though, before guilt overwhelmed her…

“Hi Kai…” She tried, her voice taut. _She couldn’t even say Hi right… gosh, this was so stupid – she was so stupid. She shouldn’t have bothered._

 _I promise_ , she repeated inside her head. “Um… how have you been?” She tried to smile this time, knowing it probably came out strained. At least she _tried,_ right, wasn’t that _all that mattered?_

“I’ve been… good…” Kai glanced over to Monika, and Faith followed her gaze. It was odd to see the _villainess_ looking so… _unsure_ _of herself…_ “Great, even…”

Faith managed to smile in a way that was a little more genuine. The guilt was still a knot in her stomach – she’d _ruined this_ , before all this happened, they’d been perfect, _they’d been friends_ , _lovers_ , _even!_ But she’d _ruined_ it.

She realized that she needed to respond to that, or things would be even more _broken_ than they already were. “Good!” She yelled, hurriedly, before backing over herself, “That’s…” She swallowed her pride. She was _nothing_. “Really good.”

She sighed sadly, looking down at the floor, hoping maybe it might just swallow her up. “I’m glad you’ve been doing well, Kai…” _(Kai had been doing so much better than she had, and yet the pieces of their relationship were still scattered over the floor…)_

Kai’s voice was still strained, but she seemed more assertive when she next spoke. “So…” She started, unsure, before finding her element. “y'know what, I don't want to dance around it.” She continued, “What's up? You haven't talked to me in weeks, so what's different today?”

Faith flinched. She hadn’t had the _motivation_ to talk immediately after their split, and though she’d told _herself_ it was to help Kai, she couldn’t bear the thought of Kai’s anger being directed her way…

The questions pierced her, making her force back a few tears, looking away before she began to speak. _“Right… Um…”_ She tried. This was so much harder than she’d wanted it to be. Faith had hoped this would be easy, but every single word was like _stepping on jagged nails_.

She frowned, her façade almost breaking for a moment. “Sorry about that, by the way...” She wanted to apologize, to throw her heart into the ring, spill its still-broken contents over the floor, but Kai had moved on, and besides, what would Sayori think if she started dating Kai again _after_ promising that she’d give their relationship a try?

This hurt, but she was going to have to try her best to make Kai _hate_ her.

“I hope it didn't bother you when I became...” She began, remembering how Kai had cried, how she had held onto her as she made her way out, _pleaded_ for her not to go, but _to no avail_ , “Scarce.” The word tasted _bitter._

She frowned, “I mean, I feel pretty bad,” Understatement of the century, Faith thought to herself, struggling to keep her voice level. “Even though I was trying” She took in a shaky breath, looking away. _Why did this still hurt?_ “To help you…”

“Help me? By just... Not talking to me?” The fury in Kai’s voice was apparent.

Kai would have never gotten angry like that when Faith met her. _(Just another one of the many things she’d broken…)_

“Not even acting like _a friend_ to me?” Kai continued without pause (Jeez, did she have to rub it in? Faith _already knew_ she was a _terrible person_. She _didn’t need_ someone else reminding her of it.) “Really, Faith?”

Faith trembled as Kai spoke, but she managed to make it look like she was just cold, after all, it was February, and the sun was starting to set, so that made sense, _didn’t it?_

“Well...” She forced. _I promise I’ll tell her. I love you._ She reminded herself of her own words, _stupid, stupid words_ which were coming back to haunt her. “Yeah, actually.”

She looked to the side to hide the tears at the edges of her eyes. It was _now or never_ , “I wanted to give you space because if I'm completely honest, Kai…” She managed, with each word it became _just_ _a little easier_ , “You are very _clingy_.”

And with that, she felt the pieces of her heart, held _loosely_ together by a _weak promise_ , _break_ once more. She struggled to bring her gaze back to watch Kai’s reaction. Kai’s face was stoic, but she could see that already, _she had hurt her._

“I honestly don't mind it.” Faith tried to backpedal, but the damage was already done. It was too late.

(Had it ever _not_ been too late, or had she _failed her_ the moment their doomed relationship began?)

“But I knew that if I just let you cling to me like that,” She tried, heart racing with fear, with regret. She wished _none of this had happened_. Even _the good parts_ of their relationship that were scattered few and far between weren’t worth this pain.

She frowned, “You'd probably just _give up_ on moving on because _you’d only want me._ I couldn’t just sit there and _let you_ do that to yourself.”

Faith realized the truth – her heart aching in her chest – her emotions in leaving had _never_ been about Kai.

They were all about _her._

She’d _given up_ on them working out, being with Kai, it… _didn’t feel right_ , and she knew if she didn’t move on any later, she’d _never_ be able to leave, but she couldn’t face that, so she told herself she was doing it for Kai…

And now she’d told _Kai_ that _lie_ too…

 _God,_ she wished she’d _never_ met Kai. Then they’d _both_ be happy.

Kai would be so, _so_ much happier _without her._

The other girl looked _so hurt_ by her words, and Faith _understood._ She would be hurt if someone had told her something ridiculous like that – that they were ‘ _too loving’_ to be in a relationship with.

“I…” Kai began, her voice a little taut, “Okay…” She conceded, and Faith felt her stomach drop with relief.

“But still, I honestly feared for our friendship.” _(What friendship? Faith had ruined that the moment she’d admitted her feelings)._

Faith looked down as Kai almost looked… _concerned._ She _couldn’t_ let Kai be _concerned_ about her, _never again._ “I thought you were disgusted with me.”

She frowned, deciding to bite the bullet. She _should_ make Kai hate her, and it was _selfish_ to ask for _anything else_ out of this, but she couldn’t do this anymore. “ _I’m sorry_ Kai.” She admitted, her voice a little shaky.

“Maybe there was…” She breathed in a shaky breath, “A better way to go about it, and I just…” She sighed, averting her eyes, there _definitely_ was a better way – there were so many things she _should have_ done different, “ _couldn’t see it…_ ”

Faith bit her tongue to hold back a sob, forcing her voice to be level. “But what’s done is done.”

She sighed sadly, “I…” She met Kai’s eyes, her tears finally forced back enough for her to be confident. “Just want to go back to being good friends, if that’s okay with you.”

She was _selfish_ in asking for this, but she _couldn’t_ _stop herself_ any longer. “I actually missed hanging out with you a lot…”

Faith _knew_ she’d be _too weak_ to do this alone. She wished Sayori could be with her right now, but she _understood_ _why_ she couldn’t. It was _truly repulsive,_ that she wanted to _drag_ _another_ _beautiful girl_ into her mess _in order to make herself feel better._

Kai smiled softly at her, her voice laiden with a little relief, “Yeah, we could do that.”

Could it be? That Faith’s decision to be selfish was the right one?

Kai’s smile grew to _something_ _more genuine_ , _something that made Faith’s heart flutter_ , _once upon a time._ “I honestly missed hanging out too.”

Faith couldn’t help but smile too. Kai’s smile was infectious. It was weaker than Sayori’s, but it was still _incredible_.

Kai’s smile shrank a little, “Wait… if you were trying to wait until I moved on… why’d you just randomly walk up to me as soon as you saw me in public?”

Faith froze, blushing a little. She hadn’t _actually planned_ to run into Kai like that. She’d been _trying to run away_ from her, but she couldn’t _quite_ bring herself to admit that, and she couldn’t talk about Sayori either, as much as she wanted to.

That’d be a _breach of her girlfriend’s trust._

So Faith chose a _half-truth._

“Weeell, it wasn’t _completely_ random.” She adopted a slight grin, her usual deflection, “You see, I happened to be glancing up at the Ferris wheel not too long ago.”

She smirked, “It’s _not rare_ for people to kiss romantically up there.”

Perhaps she should take Sayori up there later? _Revenge for the tunnel?_

She grinned, “But I sure wasn’t expecting for you to be one of those people. _Especially_ so quickly.” She sighed.

It made sense that Kai moved on so quickly. Kai wasn’t the clingy one, _not really._ The clingy one was _Faith._

She smiled flatly, “I thought it’d take a bit longer for you to find someone, but…” She’d hoped Kai would take longer, _secretly._ _Secretly_ , she’d _hoped_ Kai would _chase her_ , _would take her back…_ But she _never_ did.

Faith sighed sadly, “It seems you’ve gotten _quite the catch_.”

Monika was actually _quite attractive_ , Faith _had to admit that._ Perhaps _obsessively clingy brunettes_ were Kai’s type?

Kai and Monika blushed simultaneously, leaving Faith smirking victoriously.

“Ah…y-you saw that…” Kai glanced to the side, blushing a deep scarlet. Faith wondered if she had somehow forgotten how often Faith flirted with her, considering how easily she’d blushed like that, “Y-yeah, we’re uh… _Together_.”

All it took was one word, for Faith’s hopes of ever fixing her mistake to be lost forever.

Kai sighed, a small smile on her face, her blush retreating. Faith wished it could have stayed a little longer. She’d wanted to admire it, “I didn’t see it coming or anything but it just sorta… _happened._ ” She smiled a genuine smile that made Faith’s heart break and flutter at the same time. “And I’m _so glad_ it did.”

Faith spread a grin across her face like butter. “I’m _so happy_ for you!” She exclaimed, as if _trying_ _desperately_ to make herself _believe it was true._

She turned her attention to Monika before looking at Kai became anything more painful, feigning ignorance. “So, what’s your name?” She asked.

Monika responded quickly, accompanied by a sheepish giggle and a blush that reminded Faith a little of Sayori.

Faith smiled again, but this time, it was a genuine smile brought about by her memories of Sayori. Monika didn’t _deserve_ to be treated different, even if she _had_ fallen for Kai, _her love_ made Kai happy, so that _should_ make Faith happy, _right?_

She smiled, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Monika.” She sighed sadly, “I’m sorry we had to meet in such an… awkward way.”

Monika seemed genuine when she smiled back, uttering a reassurance. “I’m just glad this whole thing got settled between you two.” She added.

Faith sighed. It was clear she was not going to be able to make Kai happy anymore. Just _being in the same room_ as her was already making them both bristle with anxiety and the pain of their _broken_ relationship.

She asked, _begged,_ Monika to do what she couldn’t.

Monika reassured her that she would.

Faith had nothing left to do here, _nothing left to say,_ so she gave up.

She thanked Monika for her kindness, _for doing what she couldn’t_ , hugging them both as she desperately fought to keep herself from crying. This was _supposed_ to be a ‘see you soon’, but it _felt like a goodbye._

Faith turned away. “I didn’t want to ruin your date.” She admitted. It was true. She’d tried to avoid Kai, but her attempt to avoid her had just led to their paths crossing.

She left them as fast as she could, her heart halfway between _perpetually mending_ and _breaking into smaller and smaller pieces_ , tearing itself in agony as the tears she’d been holding back broke through the dam of her eyelids and started to fall down her cheeks.

Sayori was waiting for her, and pulled her into her arms, understanding, warm, _perfect._

_Even on the worst days, the sun would still shine._

-           -           -

 

The journey back home was _painful_. Sayori wanted so badly to make Faith feel better, but she knew that _nothing she could say_ _would fix this._

She remembered after she confessed to _Protag_. _Nobody could have said anything_ to make her stop hating herself after he rejected her, _not even_ _him._

So, instead, she held Faith in her arms, letting her rest her head on her lap while she affectionately ran a hand through the girl’s hair.

_They could fix this, together._

When _Protag_ had rejected her, Sayori had felt like _nobody_ would _ever_ make her smile again, but Faith was _living proof_ she was _wrong about that._

She just hoped that she could be strong enough, positive enough, _good enough_ , for Faith to be happy with her.

She shouldn’t have suggested that Faith and Kai reconcile. Faith was _clearly_ broken up about it. She was _clearly_ unable to face it right now, but Sayori had used their relationship to _force her_ to talk to Kai, and this was her _punishment_ for being so _stupid._

_She just hoped she could fix her mistake._

-           -           -

 

Once they finally got home, Faith was more than happy to curl up as deep as possible into the _darkness_ of the bedclothes.

She _didn’t want_ Sayori to see her crying like this, _not again._

-           -           -

 

It was later that evening when Kai received a text.

 

Faith: Hey, I’m Faith’s friend. I need to know what sort of stuff cheers her up when she’d having a bad day? :)

Faith: It’s like, really, really important! :\

 

She smiled, leaning back against her bed. Monika had fallen asleep in her arms, and was currently resting her head across her chest.

She decided to reply.

 

Kai: Idk, it’s been a while… XD

Kai: Maybe try cuddling? She always seemed to like that… *shrugs*

Kai: I hope this isn’t because of me… :(

 

She sighed, she wished she could be of more help, and couldn’t help but feel like it was her fault Faith was feeling like that.

But if Faith knew she wasn’t going to react well to talking to her, she wouldn’t have done so in the first place, _right?_

 

Faith: Nonono! :O

Faith: It’s my fault, actually. :(

Faith: I made her do something that she didn’t want to. :(

Faith: I shouldn’t have asked her to do it… :(

 

Kai frowned. It sounded like whoever she was texting had convinced Faith to fix things with her _against her will._

Did Faith want them to remain like that _forever,_ or was it that she didn’t have the _courage_ to tell Kai how she really felt?

Kai had to admit, she hadn’t really known how Faith felt for a while now. They were really close when they first met a year ago, but then Faith became more and more withdrawn.

Kai had felt like she was losing her, and it hurt so, _so_ badly, enough that she decided to _confess her feelings_. She was _falling in love_ with Faith.

When she said that, Faith seemed taken aback. It was a day or so to _‘think about it’_ before she admitted that she was in love with Kai, too.

Kai had been really happy, at first – she felt the same way, after all – but then she’d started to feel like they were growing distant. She’d hoped she was wrong, but then Faith had suddenly left, with no warning, almost immediately after promising that she would _‘fix things between them’_.

She hadn’t known how Faith felt for a while, but lately, it was almost impossible to tell.

She’d assumed it was because Faith didn’t feel the same way _after all_ , and had been _too cruel_ to just _tell her_ , instead choosing to lead her on, but _what if she was wrong?_

 

Kai: I’m sure she’ll be alright. She has a friend to care for her, doesn’t she? :)

Kai: What’s your name, anyways? :D

 

She decided she might as well ask who she was talking to. Perhaps she might know Faith’s new friend…

 

 Faith: I’m not sure if I want to tell you that… :(

 

Kai had to admit, she was a little suspicious. Was Faith trying to somehow make them grow closer, did she want something out of this?

 

Kai: Why not? :>

Faith: I’m not sure you want to know…

Kai: Try me ;)

 

Kai decided to insist the person she was talking to tell her who they were. It could be the case that Faith’s phone had been stolen by some scammer, too, couldn’t it?

 

Faith: Fine.

Faith: It’s Sayori, from DDLC.

Faith: I’ve been living with her for the last 3 weeks.

 

Kai’s skin grew cold. She should have seen it coming – why Faith hadn’t reached out for so long, why she suddenly had, why she’d been so _remorseful._

Why her ‘friend’ had blamed herself…

And why Faith hadn’t mentioned her _friend_ at the Fair – Sayori probably asked her not to tell Monika about her, assuming she _was_ with Faith at the Fair, _that is…_

Kai sighed, she shouldn’t tell Monika either. That’d be a breach of Sayori’s trust.

 

Faith: I told you that you didn’t want to know… :/

 

Kai smiled sadly, quickly adjusting the contact name. She’d make sure to change it back later…

 

Kai: It’s fine. Besides, it’s not a problem. :)

Kai: Monika probably won’t ask about you, anyway. She thinks you’re still in the game with the others. :)

Kai: So don’t worry, your secret is safe with me :>

 

Kai smirked, she had a feeling that Sayori wasn’t just a friend to Faith either. At the very least, she probably had feelings for her, and if she was attractive like Monika, Faith would have to be mad to return them!

 

Kai: So you’re her _girlfriend_ , huh?

Sayori: What dp ypu mean?

Sayori: No im not

Kai: Riiiight. ;)

Kai: Give her ‘til tomorrow while you cuddle her.

Kai: You being with her will make her happier than you know. :)

 

She smiled, closing her phone.

 _She_ wasn’t what Faith _needed,_ but she was glad that Faith had someone _so caring,_ someone who wouldn’t grow distant, who was just as _hopelessly_ in love as she was.

She had a feeling her connection to Faith was over. They’d probably never meet again. They’d probably never even text again.

But Faith had found someone else, someone _better_ , and so that didn’t matter to her.

Kai turned her attention to the slumbering Monika, making sure to cuddle her lightly, closing her eyes and going to sleep.

She would definitely rest easier tonight, now that she knew Faith was safe.

-           -           -

 

Sayori pulled the covers up around herself and Faith, curling up around her girlfriend. Faith looked so remorseful as she did so, but Sayori consoled her.

She was willing to go through all the pain she’d gone through in the literature club and more, if it meant that Faith would be happy.

Sayori pressed a gentle kiss to Faith’s lower neck, then smiled at her. “I’m so, _so_ glad to have you in my life, Faith. Don’t _ever_ forget that!”

Tears brimmed in Faith’s eyes, but she pulled Sayori into a full, deep hug. “ _I’m so sorry_ I made you worry!” She cried, “I’m so, _so_ sorry!”

She was, she shouldn’t have done _any_ of this. She shouldn’t have cried, she shouldn’t have made Sayori _worry about her._

_She shouldn’t have lead Kai on like she did._

This pain in her chest, it must have been _karma_ – the world making her _pay_ for _what she did,_ returning _every inch of the pain_ she’d given Kai back to her, _all at once._

Sayori held Faith _closer,_ consoling her and comforting her until she finally drifted into an _empty, dreamless sleep._

_There was nothing but love for her here - she wished she could show Faith that._

-           -           -

 

The next morning came, the pain having finally subsided, seeming to vanish with the dark of the night before, the sun rising instead to greet her with the smell of warm pancakes.

Faith groaned as her stomach rumbled. _“W-why did you make me these, Sayo?”_ she asked, still half-asleep.

Her lover grinned, taking some whipped cream and squirting a smiley face, complete with two strawberries across the top pancake.

( _God, what on Earth_ _did Faith do_ to _deserve_ someone as _amazing_ as her?)

Sayori smiled, “I wanted to remind you to have a little ‘Faith’ in yourself.” She giggled softly – the most beautiful sound Faith had ever heard – “I believe in you. You can do _amazing_ things if you _let yourself try!”_

Faith broke out into a full smile, and she pushed the pancakes aside, making her way over to her girlfriend. They could eat them all later (they’d probably need them, after all).

She’d been holding back for all this time, only letting Sayori kiss her or feel her a little before pulling away.

 

_But right now, Faith was ready to go all the way._

 

She took Sayori's hand, pulling her down onto the bed, their lips meeting as if pulled together by magnets, Faith letting out a soft whine as she felt her girlfriend's practiced movement. It seemed Sayori knew her mouth a little _too well..._

They pulled apart, panting, falling beside one another, resting on the covers.

Faith noted that the sunrise behind Sayori made her look _even more beautiful_ than normal, highlighting her apricot-stained locks in an _exhilarating golden red._

She pulled her girlfriend back in, but not for a kiss, just to hold her close, just to bask in her _ever-soothing warmth._  Normal life's struggles would begin again tomorrow morning, but that didn't seem so scary, not when Faith knew that Sayori would be with her through it all, _as constant as the sunrise in the morning, there, no matter the weather,_   _no matter what._

Faith sighed, “You want to know _how_ I fell in love with you?” She asked, smiling, even though she was holding back tears, too. That word, _love,_ it had brought her so much pain and heartbreak from Kai.

(Would things have been better if she’d lied and said she _didn’t_ feel the same way from the start?)

Sayori giggled, a soft, beautiful sound that lifted her from her reverie, “I’d love to!~”

Faith frowned, “When... when I saw you in the game, it was about _a month_ after me and Kai broke up,” She sighed, did it count as a break-up if it _didn't even last for a week_ _?_ “And I was still _sore...”_

She sighed, meeting her partner’s eyes, “But then, I saw you, _making all the same mistakes_ I did, telling yourself it was _fine_ , that you weren’t _ignoring your feelings_ about your best friend _because of your_ _depression.”_

She frowned, this was hard enough to admit, but... it was better she put things like that out in the open. She was _learning her lesson_ _,_ one mistake at a time... “I could _already tell_ by the time you showed your first poem that you were depressed. I could see the same methods,” She traced a hand across Sayori’s cheek. “The same _scars...”_

She frowned, “I wanted to help you. In the position I was in, I could make his decision for _him_ , _make him love you_ – you _deserved_ that – but... when I did...”

She averted her eyes, and this time it was Sayori’s turn to comfort her. “When I made him confess...  _you felt the same way I had.”_ She laughed drily, “When Kai told me she loved me, I felt _like a bunch of thorns._ I’d made her want _me above all else,_ and I _hated myself_ for it.”

She sighed sadly, “If you hadn’t shown up when you did, I would have _taken another step forward,_ saved everyone the _pain_ of having to know me...”

Faith’s voice was hoarse, shaky, pained as she looked Sayori in the eye, “I’m sorry for everything, how I’ve been _such a burden_ to you. From the second you arrived in this world, I've been using you as an emotional crutch.”

She frowned, lip trembling. “I guess, what I’m trying to say is...”

 

_“If you don’t want to be with me, if you don’t want to be ruined by my toxic, **corrupting** touch, then this is your chance to leave.”_

There was a moment of silence before Sayori answered the question with a kiss, deep, full, _loving._

She pulled back, smiling softly as Faith's cheeks flared, almost shining with joy, _“I know._ But I’m _not_ leaving, because _I want to be with you,_ _no matter what,_ and besides! _Everyone_ needs a little help sometimes - someone to put their trust in... Someone in which they can confide..."

"Someone in which they can..." A grin crossed Sayori's face, and Faith's heart fluttered in anticipation. She loved it when Sayori told a joke, she supposed, probably because it was _another part_ of the _perfect_   _ray of sunshine_ she adored so much. "Have a little _'Faith'_.”

Faith snickered. "Stop that, you can't make a joke out of my name _like that!_ " She yelled, indignant, but she _was_ laughing, and from the way her girlfriend grinned and raised her left eyebrow in a mischievous _'try and stop me'_ kind of manner, her laughter _wasn't hidden very well at all._

She blushed, looking away, trying to hide her face in hair - the kind of long hair she _didn't have,_ before returning her gaze.

This sensation, of _mutual_ _terror,_ _amusement,_ _love_ \- _an incredible cocktail of unabashed emotions_ \- was _exhilarating._

 _The Sun_ smiled back at her, "You _needed someone to support you,_ and it was _my choice_ to do so." Her smile reached her eyes, and Faith was _entranced_ , hypnotized, lost forever in those oceans of _intoxicating_ blue,  _“I love you,_ because you’re kind and caring and sweet.”

_“You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Faith, so...”_

_“Please...”_

_“Don’t leave me. I want to be with you, to spend the rest of my life with you.”_

_“I want us to live together, to kiss, and go on dates every other week. I want us to eat pizza for dinner and pancakes for breakfast; to watch the stars together until we can recognize every single one like the taste of each other's lips.” Sayori smiled sweetly at her, but Faith could feel the emotion in her voice and the frantic racing of her heart beating to the fastest rhythm it could manage..._

_“I want to be with you, for as long as it takes both of us to heal. I don’t care if it takes forever, so long as it’s with you.” Sayori's smile began to splinter, her fear showing through._

_That someone so angelic, so beautiful could be scared, could even imagine for a moment that Faith would reject her..._

_It was strange, but something that was just... so, so... Sayori..._

_"So... please... Stay with me."_

 

Faith felt her heart flutter at the request, finding herself acting on impulse. It didn’t matter what happened next, or what had happened before.

If there was anyone who she would be comfortable doing this, _all of this_  – being as good a girlfriend as she _could_ be _,_ _recovering from her mistakes,_ _living her life,_ and _all the other trimmings_ \- with, it was _Sayori._

   


   


  _Her answer came in the form of her lips, stiffing the girl before she could go any further._

_She loved, more than she did in anything else, this miracle worker who had entered her life with no warning, no arrangement in advance, and yet somehow made everything in it a million times better... and maybe that was dangerous but..._

_She smiled, her lips clamping around Sayori's with eager ferocity as her hands pushed her back against the bed._

_She wouldn’t have it any other way._

 

_**=The End=** _

   


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this. I hope you enjoyed reading it! :)  
> [Sorry if it was OOC/Badly written/poorly plotted at any point, I tried my best!]
> 
> (If this fic had a theme song, it'd probably be [this awesome song!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjhvSRe-pZE))
> 
> Please tell me if you have any criticisms/additional ideas (I promise I'll get around to writing them at some point!), and feel free to check out some of my other writing if you liked this! :)
> 
> I know this one is really long, but I was inspired! :D  
> (So a really big thanks to [Wrangle_Wolfe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrangle_Wolfe/pseuds/Wrangle_Wolfe) for writing the original!)
> 
> Oh, and just as a side note:  
> #SayoriIsBestGirl2k17 ;)


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